How to break a car door on tour, with Hot Donnas

With their scuzzy brand of garage-psych, we can only dream of what Dunedin outfit Hot Donnas get up to on tour. But we imagine it’s pretty wild.

We asked the band for a tour diary, and what we got is a step-by-step instruction on how to create a bit of destruction while on the road. So, if you’ve ever wondered how to rip a car door off its hinges, Hot Donnas have you covered…

Ever wondered how to rip a car’s door off its hinges? Well, you’re not alone. Luckily, New Zealand band Hot Donnas have given us a step-by-step, fail-safe procedure.

First of all, you will always be in the wrong. No matter how or where it happened, a young, tattooed bloke with messy long hair will be put at fault. But that’s just how the game works.

Being on a relatively skinny street will benefit the chance of an accident happening, but is not always necessary. You’ll also need a large truck bounding down behind you once you have parked your car, as well as a good attitude (this can be accomplished by listening to our new album Dirty Paradise prior to parking).

Now that we have the main ingredients for a car door to be forced off its hinges, the first thing you will need to accomplish is opening it. Without any effort, the rest of the breaking process has been kindly handed to you by the large truck. As it swerves away from an oncoming vehicle and smashes into your door, not only does it cause the blood to rush up and down your body, but also naturally causes you to shout “holy fuck!” at the top of your lungs.

The damage has been successfully accomplished. With a limited timespan to acquire a new and improved car door, you must now follow these steps.

1. Cover the broken door (still slightly attached to the car) with tarpaulin. You just have to pray that no one is thick enough to steal a car with the front door hanging off.

2. Locate and contact a wrecker’s with the same car door, preferably with a different colour to the original: making it 25% more unique, with an added 150% chance of pedestrians thinking you’re a great kiwi.

3. Take your car (as well as your new and improved door) to your local panel beaters. Will usually do the final job for a box of beers and a “thanks mate, you’re a lifesaver.

Once you have completed these steps, you’re now ready to rock n’ roll, being just under $300 poorer than expected. But ah well, we’re not here to fuck spiders.

Listen to Dirty Paradise above.