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The collapse of the British monarchy, a saga told in memes

*Sips tea* Welcome. Are you looking for answers? Receipts? A definitive timeline of Meghan and Harry’s plight against colonisation? You’ve come to the right place.

Well, well, well, well, well… what a week it has been. I’m getting flustered just thinking about it. As an honorary member of the Commonwealth, nothing butters my toast quite like Royal drama. And GIRL. These past few days have been chaotic, even for moi.

The allegations, the drama, the tea. It’s all a bit much. But never fear, we are here to break down this dumpster fire in the best way we know how. So, sit back, relax, and let us take you through the Meghan and Harry vs the British Colonial Empire drama from start to finish.

meghan markle and prince harry

1995: Princess Diana’s tell-all interview

Let’s take it back to the very beginning. Over 25 years ago, Princess Diana sat down with Panorama’s Martin Bashir to set the record straight. Detailing the lack of guidance from the palace, the little to no support she received, the overwhelming press attention, and her struggles with depression, Diana’s expose provided an explosive insight into the Royal family.

“When no one listens to you, or you feel no one’s listening to you, all sorts of things start to happen,” the 34-year-old revealed about her struggle with postpartum depression. “For instance, you have so much pain inside yourself that you try and hurt yourself on the outside because you want help, but it’s the wrong help you’re asking for. People see it as crying wolf or attention-seeking.”

Since the broadcast of Meghan and Harry’s interview, audiences have continued to draw striking parallels between the two women’s stories, particularly of the palace’s disregard for their mental health. From this interview, multiple conspiracies have sprung up surrounding the circumstances of Diana’s passing in 1997. At her funeral, Diana’s brother, Lord Spencer, even blamed the media for her death, referring to her as the “most hunted person of the modern age.”  

Check out the full interview here.

November 2019: Andrew-gate

A moment that Buckingham Palace would love to forget, recent events have reminded audiences of Prince Andrew’s trainwreck interview about his friendship with convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein. To summarise: Prince Andrew and Epstein were good friends, who would often party together. Once allegations against Epstein started to come out, so too did speculation around the Royal Prince. Since then, victims of the socialite alleged to have slept with Andrew as well, photos have been leaked of the Prince posing with underage victims, and their friendship continued well after Epstein was convicted in 2010.

In 2019, Prince Andrew sat down with the BBC to address the allegations. What ensues is a painful attempt to cover his own ass. Dive in here.

On Tuesday (March 9, 2021), the lawyer representing 20 victims of Epstein spoke out against the Royal Family, accusing the Palace of using their investigation into Markle as a “calculated decision” to take the focus off Prince Andrew.

“Allegations about him are far worse than the allegations about Meghan Markle. Prince Andrew was a working royal when he became a friend of Jeffrey Epstein, who was a sexual predator,” said Gloria Allred. “Prince Andrew is accused of much more than bullying or harassment in the workplace.” Prince Andrew still maintains his royal title, wage from Buckingham Palace, and military honours.

January 2020: Meghan and Harry tap out

Before 2020 was fucked over by Covid, Meghan and Harry dropped the bombshell that they would be stepping back from their royal duties. While the couple originally said that this change was born from a need for privacy, their recent interview shows that the reality was quite different.

March 2021: The monarchy is cancelled

Here ’tis, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Enjoy.

You can watch Meghan and Harry’s interview with Oprah on TenPlay.