To celebrate the gripping culmination of narrative and eroticism, we’re counting down five of the hottest Reddit sex stories.
Every once in a while (probably more than we let on), us folk at Happy scour the wastelands of Reddit for treasure. One time we found a thread dedicated to the worst-ever Pornhub parody titles and it wasn’t pretty. Lately, we discovered a thread dedicated to the best sex ventures titled “GoneWild Stories.” Needless to say, it was a goldmine.
As the thread revealed itself to us, we found narrative brilliance, dripping imagery (literally), hilarity so good that it hurt, and, of course, racy eroticism. So, if you’re in the mood, join us as we countdown some of our absolute favourites. And of course, 18+ from here on out.
A bit about GoneWild Stories
Based on the popular NSFW image subreddit GoneWild, GoneWildStories has been in busy operation since 2010, delivering its 520k members with nothing but the sauciest content. Some of the subreddit’s most popular tags include “No Regrets” (fair), “Confessional” (obviously), and perhaps most excitably, “First Time.” But how has this thread stayed so successful? Well, it’s got some excellent rules to keep the content morally grounded as well as gleefully stimulating. Take rule #3 –“True Stories Only.” There’s nothing like the integrity of an honour system to get people spilling their friskiest encounters.
The thread also hosts monthly themed competitions, such as last month’s “Hotel Fun.” The winner gets their post pinned on the sub for a week, so there’s never been a better reason to share the smut! Let’s begin.
Did I stumble into r/GoneWildStories ?
Or, are you building an entirely new genre of Erotica?
— Drsteinmanttv (@DrSteinmanTTV) March 30, 2018
#5 – The older, the better
Like many posts in this spectacular thread, this one wastes no time getting to the action. Everyone has always wanted (or already has) fucked someone who’s a few years their senior, and at this stage, ‘Daddy’ has become one of the most basic kinks you can think of. Still, older men are hot, and with these two, we get a play-by-play of what happened in some exquisite detail. While we can’t fact check everything in this post, it goes without saying that everyone would love to be able to cum six times.
Posted by: @Violet511_
Best line: “When I led him up to my room and locked the door, he did not waste any time. He is quite tall, I’m 5’7” he is 6’3”, so I had to stand on my tiptoes to kiss him.”
#4 – Just Roommates are you?
This one is pretty pedestrian compared to most of the shocking sex stories on this thread, but you have to give it points for the happy ending. Often, roommates fall into one of two categories. It’s either a strictly no-sex relationship or fucking like rabbits. With these two, we get a rewarding progression. They went from friends, to close friends, to the uncanny valley, and, at long last, deeply intimate. The best part? They clearly both liked each other from the very beginning.
Posted by: @Blowingbush
Best line: “Niki looked at me inquisitively not expecting to have this conversation.”
#3 – Deposit taken
This one is so unbelievable that it’s not. If that makes sense… The situation is messy from the get-go, and both participants have their flaws, especially the protagonist, but the story is like cocaine. One line is never enough. You’ll leave this tale knowing way too much about the arduous task of repairing property damage and wondering how deep the rabbit hole goes with these troublemakers.
Posted by: [deleted]
Best line: “No, the pipes are fine, but I am very wet.”
#2 – Garden antics and marital bliss
This little number is about reconnecting with an old fuck-buddy – a tale as old as time. What makes it hotter though, is the fact that this fuck-buddy is also a bridesmaid to OP’s sister. Needless to say, with the drinking antics that occur at any wedding, OP and ‘Penny’ clearly had a lot to catch up on… a lot.
Posted by: @s0m3thingc1ever
Best line: ” We acknowledged that we still had some unrequited feelings and attraction to one another and that lead to her asking me if I still thought about fucking her.”
#1 – Hotel Hell
I know it’s longer than the entire Harry Potter book series, but this monthly-contest winner is worth every sentence. The narrative twists and turns. The protagonist is sympathetic and her counter-part is relatable. The world-building would make J. R. R. Tolkien retreat to Gollum’s cave out of respect. Best of all, the eroticism so racy and detailed you essentially feel like a fly on the wall, watching the whole ordeal go down.
Posted by: @adventuresofaTBD
Best line: “Did your parents pay for this room? One of us will need to find a way to explain this to them.”