To celebrate the gripping culmination of narrative and eroticism, we’re counting down five of the hottest Reddit sex stories.
Every once in a while (probably more than we let on), us folk at Happy scour the wastelands of Reddit for treasure. One time we found a thread dedicated to the worst-ever Pornhub parody titles and it wasn’t pretty. Lately, we discovered a thread dedicated to the best sex ventures titled “GoneWild Stories.” Needless to say, it was a goldmine.
As the thread revealed itself to us, we found narrative brilliance, dripping imagery (literally), hilarity so good that it hurt, and, of course, racy eroticism. So, if you’re in the mood, join us as we countdown some of our absolute favourites. And of course, 18+ from here on out.
A bit about GoneWild Stories
Based on the popular NSFW image subreddit GoneWild, GoneWildStories has been in busy operation since 2010, delivering its 520k members with nothing but the sauciest content. Some of the subreddit’s most popular tags include “No Regrets” (fair), “Confessional” (obviously), and perhaps most excitably, “First Time.” But how has this thread stayed so successful? Well, it’s got some excellent rules to keep the content morally grounded as well as gleefully stimulating. Take rule #3 –“True Stories Only.” There’s nothing like the integrity of an honour system to get people spilling their friskiest encounters.
The thread also hosts monthly themed competitions, such as last month’s “Hotel Fun.” The winner gets their post pinned on the sub for a week, so there’s never been a better reason to share the smut! Let’s begin.
Did I stumble into r/GoneWildStories ?
Or, are you building an entirely new genre of Erotica?
— Drsteinmanttv (@DrSteinmanTTV) March 30, 2018
#5 – Fifty Shades of Grey’s Anatomy
Good god, this one wastes no time getting into the action. It also has the best opening sentence in the entire thread. And no, your eyes don’t deceive you. Those are hyperlinks in the post, linking to supporting audio/visual media, proving that the whole thing actually went down. Car park coitus is already risky enough, but there’s something about this happening in a hospital car park that makes the interaction much more riveting.
Posted by: @fromyourlittleslut
Best line: “I spent another shift at work as a nurse fantasizing about my married coworker bending me over my desk, and I knew I needed his cock before he left for the day.”
#4 – Just Roommates are you?
This one is pretty pedestrian compared to most of the shocking sex stories on this thread, but you have to give it points for the happy ending. Often, roommates fall into one of two categories. It’s either a strictly no-sex relationship or fucking like rabbits. With these two, we get a rewarding progression. They went from friends, to close friends, to the uncanny valley, and, at long last, deeply intimate. The best part? They clearly both liked each other from the very beginning.
Posted by: @Blowingbush
Best line: “Niki looked at me inquisitively not expecting to have this conversation.”
#3 – Deposit taken
This one is so unbelievable that it’s not. If that makes sense… The situation is messy from the get-go, and both participants have their flaws, especially the protagonist, but the story is like cocaine. One line is never enough. You’ll leave this tale knowing way too much about the arduous task of repairing property damage and wondering how deep the rabbit hole goes with these troublemakers.
Posted by: [deleted]
Best line: “No, the pipes are fine, but I am very wet.”
#2 – Taking PDA to the next level
This little yarn is unhinged, reckless, and undeniably fucked. Visualising the unending parade of headlights catching these two going at it, hammer and tongs, is shock factor unrivalled. It’s honestly a miracle these untamable rascals got away with it. Or did they?
Posted by: @Grace_Defiled
Best line: “Quarantine has pumped the brakes on our exhibitionism in many ways, and so we have to improvise.”
#1 – Hotel Hell
I know it’s longer than the entire Harry Potter book series, but this monthly-contest winner is worth every sentence. The narrative twists and turns. The protagonist is sympathetic and her counter-part is relatable. The world-building would make J. R. R. Tolkien retreat to Gollum’s cave out of respect. Best of all, the eroticism so racy and detailed you essentially feel like a fly on the wall, watching the whole ordeal go down.
Posted by: @adventuresofaTBD
Best line: “Did your parents pay for this room? One of us will need to find a way to explain this to them.”