Sure, you can still meet at the bar, but apps are becoming the norm in the quest for a casual hookup. Need help? Here are the 9 best sites and apps to look for.
No, it’s not like it was in your parents’ day. Like most things in our lives, tech has infiltrated the adult dating game in a big way. The sites that purport to guarantee lifelong love are well-established, but what if you’re looking for something that doesn’t end in a white picket fence?
Fortunately, there’s a host of sites and apps out there for consenting adults to indulge in casual hookups and covert trysts across the hetero and LGBTQ+ spectrum. As hooking up has evolved, so have these sites, encompassing all the quirks, rules, and safety needs of a three-dimensional, 21st century sex life.
Looking for someone who shares that specific kink of yours? Or would you rather walk into a hookup knowing that your personal information is utterly intact? Whatever you’re looking for, it’s become easier than ever to find a site that caters most particularly to your needs. Why? It’s simple – there are more casual hookup sites than ever.
On the flipside, that does mean that you’ll need to take the extra time to screen each, examining their features, getting to know what kind of users they cater to, and more. Being informed is half the battle – the second half being actually finding somebody who’s right for you. Nail the first half, and the second will be that much easier.
If you’re thinking of dipping a toe into this world, it pays to know what’s what. So without further ado, let’s check out nine of the very best online services for casual hookups.
Ashley Madison
Yep, it’s controversial. Ashley Madison has made a name for itself for providing the ultimate discretion for those wanting temporary relief from an unsatisfying relationship. It’s been a successful formula and the platform attracts thousands of new participants every day.
This is obviously great news if you’re keen to partake: you’re always going to find someone. It’s free to use for women and as you would imagine, has a raft of security and identity protection features.
While signing up for the site is relatively easy, it is worth noting it is only free to use for women. On the other hand, men might have to shell out as much as $50 to interact with potential partners. However, the site’s extensive features definitely make it great value for money. Ashley Madison’s approach to user registration helps reassure female users of their safety and well being.
Sharing photos on the website does not have to be a scary process, as their masking feature allows users to hide their identity while still providing a user photograph. Ashley Madison also offers cross-compatibility with their iOS and Android apps, so you never have to miss a message when you are on-the-go.
Adult Friend Finder
Adult Friend Finder is a massive player in this market, with 100 million members and counting across the globe. With such a huge pool of users, you’ll find a partner in here to suit any kink you can think of (plus a few that you haven’t even imagined yet).
AdultFriendFinder allows you to meet people who share the same kinks and sexual interests as you through niche chat rooms. Basically, this site will definitely have a welcoming group for you that will provide a judgement-free experience, no matter what your interests are. Besides kinks, you can filter through the site by state or region as well.
You can also filter by location, so no matter where you are on your globetrotting adventures, you’ll be able to connect with someone who understands your, ahem, special needs. Plus, there’s full live streaming/webcam support, if you want to get your freak on in a socially distanced way.
eHarmony
Hang on, isn’t eHarmony where you go if you’re looking for something more committed? Well, yes — it’s an industry leader for those looking for a more substantial romance, but it doesn’t always have to be. Why? Because it prioritises rigorous honesty.
However, the fun does not need to end there, as many users are willing to continue a casual fling even as they gauge its potential of turning into something more.
eHarmony comes with many useful features, but one outshines the rest by far — its matchmaking questionnaire. While the questionnaire may seem tedious at first, it goes a long way in finding you the most compatible partner. Furthermore, it works equally well if you are looking for something casual, provided you are completely honest about your expectations.
So if you’re looking for a casual hookup, all you have to do is say so. Then you’re more likely to get matched with someone who wants the same. No nasty surprises.
Another notable feature of eHarmony is that the gender ratio on the site is nearly proportional. Rest assured, there is someone for everyone on here, since the men outnumber the women by a mere 6%.
eHarmony also offers a “Send a Smile” feature to initiate contact with a potential match as well as a favourites list to track the users you are particularly interested in. If you do meet someone and want to advance beyond text chatting, eHarmony offers video chatting so you see how compatible you are face-to-face.
NoStringsAttached
It’s all in the name. No false promises here: if you’re looking for the ultimate in casual, non-committed relationships, NoStringsAttached is the place to be. If you’re attached, you’re not only welcome but there are even tips on how to sneak around. Outrageous!
For users more interested in cybersex, the site offers indulgent opportunities through live cam features. The video chat feature is also especially useful in determining your compatibility with a match before meeting them in person.
With that in mind, security on this platform is top-notch. Not only can users create an anonymous profile, but they can call their matches without revealing their number.
Plus, if you’re strapped for time, there’s a ‘Match Report’ feature that will automatically send you the best matches according to your profile.
Ok, things are getting a bit weird now. Famously known for being the ‘front page of the internet’, Reddit seems hardly the place to go for a casual hookup. Or is it?
Maybe because it is ‘the front page of the internet’, it could be the perfect place to find the best casual hookup. It is the place to be for rabbit hole forums, so you can definitely find someone with mutual interests here. The subreddit r/r4r is the one you’re looking for. The best thing about it? It’s 100% free of charge.
Reddit r4r is a community on the official Reddit site boasting over 342,000 active members. Any user can drop a post in the subreddit for free. If you want to post, simply list a few details about yourself to elicit trust from other users. You have complete control of your information on Reddit and the capability to remain mostly anonymous if you prefer.
In fact, community moderators prohibit sharing of personal email addresses and phone numbers publicly.
Moreover, you can include information about the type of person you are into for chances of a better match. Then, all you need to do is wait, and users interested in your post will approach you of their own accord.
Similarly, you can peruse through other posts, and if one happens to catch your eye, you can look through the user’s profile anonymously. The site also facilitates direct messaging if you really like what you see.
Reddit r4r also has a dirty version if you want to skip straight to the X-rated stuff. Which we know some of you want to.
Tinder
Of all the dating and hookup apps out there, Tinder is perhaps the one that looms largest in the popular consciousness. It revolutionised the modern dating game by making it an incredibly user-friendly smartphone experience.
Fittingly, Tinder has gained quite a reputation as a top dog among dating sites. With nearly anyone and everyone using the site, it is safe to say you will not be short of potential partners.
Simply sign up for free using your mobile number or Facebook account and start swiping. If you swipe right on someone, and they swipe right on you, boom! You’ve got a match. Though some of the other platforms are more accurate in matchmaking, it’s the easiest way to get into this world.
Unlike other sites, Tinder allows users of all genders to initiate the conversation once matched. Tinder’s free and premium versions can help you tailor the platform to work best for you.
However, bear in mind that Tinder does not consider compatibility by means of questionnaires or any similar method, meaningthe app is highly appearance-based. So, if you prefer a hookup partner you have a lot in common with, you will have to find one through actual conversations, which requires time to be put into finding a match that truly fits.
The Tinder algorithm does not allow for much filtering beyond age, gender, and location; but then again, it does not need to, because the site is designed to be a quick and easy-to-use platform for casual hookups. Not that there haven’t been Tinder success stories leading to fruitful relationships or even marriages – you may start by looking for a casual hookup, and leave with your Tinderella.
Grindr
Famously, Grindr is a go-to app for hookups in the LGBTQ+ community. Its unique selling point is its focus on proximity – if you’re thirsty in the middle of the night, Grindr is the place to lock in that hookup, no matter where you are.
What is more, the site is entirely upfront in its support of casual sex. So rest assured, if a hookup is all you want, a hookup is what you will get on Grindr.
There’s a huge, worldwide user-base to tap into and it works especially well in urban settings, so if you’re in need of fast love in a foreign city (or your hometown), Grindr’s the place to be.
If there is one flaw to the app, though, it is the sparse profiles. As such, a simple profile glance-through will not give you much insight into a potential hookup partner.
Grindr now offers cross-platform capability with iOS and Android apps.
HER
HER is a great choice for LGBTQ+ women and queer people. HER is a comprehensive platform for casual hookups, dating, and even finding friends (of all these platforms, it’s the one that’s most akin to a social media site).
Refreshingly open-minded, it’s just a fun place to hang out. But there are some features that make it a winner for hookups too. Ever accidentally swiped left on Tinder and doomed yourself to a night of regret?
One feature you will truly appreciate on HER is the Rewind. We have all been in the position of having swiped left on someone by accident and regretting it instantly. Well, HER ensures you never feel that way again.
At first glance, HER’s sign-up process might seem a little time-consuming because of the strict and lengthy verification procedure, but HER only requires this to ensure the utmost safety of its users.
Bumble
Like Tinder, Bumble offers up a super slick user experience. But Bumble also has a key feature built into it which provides better safety for women. Man and women can swipe to show interest, but crucially, only women can initiate conversation.
Bumble has a super easy-to-use app as well. So, regardless of where you are, you can continue swiping and keep conversations going with those who are already matched.
Not only that, but Bumble also comes with a video chat feature as well, which makes it a lot easier to determine the authenticity and compatibility of a potential one-night stand. So, it is likely you will not be disappointed when you actually meet them.
Bumble also works exceptionally well for men. After all, women on the site tend to feel a lot more comfortable, making them ever-open to casual encounters.
Staying safe on hookup sites
The thrill of meeting someone new, especially when it involves intimacy, is hard to resist. But it’s important to be aware that there’s always some amount of risk when meeting someone from an online site. Really, there’s some form of risk when meeting a stranger for the first time in any scenario.
Over 40 million users are actively seeking out partners online in America, and more are joining up every day. As such, it’s getting harder and harder to gauge the authenticity of each person and what their intentions. Several sites that are approaching massive sizes will also begin to encounter the typical problems that large social networks encounter, including but not limited to scammers or fake accounts.
However, meeting someone from an online site can be a happy, positive, and enriching experience. Safety is paramount, and you shouldn’t be sacrificing it at any time, but it can also be important to not let it hold you back.
For that reason, we have curated a few tips to help you satisfy your needs safely, securely, and with ease.
Don’t jump the gun
We all have experienced the struggle of trying to meet someone new – especially as you get older, and especially as the pandemic cuts off a number of usual means to meeting people socially. However, you should never let your frustration drive you into a situation that you’re not comfortable with or informed about.
Similarly, there is no reason to feel pressured simply because a match wants to meet up with you.
If you are not fully comfortable at any point in your online dating life, remember there is no shame in waiting, or even stopping for a moment to gather your thoughts or work on yourself.
Become a detective
Facebook or Instagram stalking a potential date may have quite the stigma attached to it, however, when it comes to ensuring your safety, some light social media research can go a long way. After all, social media is the perfect way to spot red flags and potential catfishes.
You might even find you have a friend in common, and can get an easy, honest 10-4 about the date you’re about to have.
So, if you feel the need to do some of your own sleuthing, do not feel bad about it, as you have the right to know more about the person you are potentially becoming intimate with.
Share the details of your date
Never go on a date without telling a trusted friend or family member the specifics of where and when you are going. In fact, you could even share your location with them through an app like Find My Friend or Facebook Messenger to be on the safer side.
Having a service like ADTSoSecure on hand can also be useful, as it lets you share your location with family members immediately during an emergency.
Meet in a public place
This one is on its way to becoming common knowledge but whenever you meet someone, especially for a first date, consider doing it in a public place. Restaurants, bars, cafes, movie theatres, gigs, and so on are all prime locations for a date. In fact, they have a ton of people around, making them safe and ideal.
In the case of bars and live music venues, staff and security will often be on your side if you begin to feel uncomfortable or unsafe with anyone. Many venues have even have a code word you can share with one of the staff if you feel unsafe, at which point they will help you out of the situation swiftly and without making a scene. If you know a place that will happily do this, it’s a perfect place for a date.
Tinder also recommends not going back to the home of someone you just met.
Get yourself there
Using your own transportation is another way to be utterly sure you don’t have to rely on your date to get you anywhere – home or otherwise. A date offering to pick you up or drop you off may seem chivalrous at first glance. But, it makes it a lot harder to bow out if things start going downhill.
Now, you may be wondering what to do if you do not have your own vehicle. The answer is simple — use an Uber, a bus, or the subway.
Stay sober
This one is a bit of a no-brainer. While downing a drink or two on a date can be the perfect way to get to know somebody, you want to take care to contain yourself. After all, being drunk not only makes a date itself risky, but it makes getting home trickier as well.
If you feel like you are not sure about your limits, opt for a coffee or movie date instead, and stay off the beers until you are absolutely comfortable with your partner.
Then, of course, feel free to go wild. You’ve got somebody to hold your hair back, after all.
Keep your private information private
As scary as they seem, online dating scams are far from a fictional horror story. They are very much real and can very much affect the everyday user like yourself. What is even worse is that no age group or demographic is safe.
So, to avoid falling into the trap of a scammer, never give out your personal information online. Also, shut down any matches requesting money immediately – unless you are in a sugar baby/sugar daddy situation, at which point you still need to be very careful.
This is why choosing the right platform for the right need is absolutely imperative, as it helps clarify things right from the start.
FAQs: Casual Dating Sites
Is it safe to use a hookup site or app?
Several dating apps out there come with top-notch security features. However, some responsibility lies with you, the user, as well.
For financial and personal security, rely on only reputed sites like the ones listed above. These sites will ensure any such information remains confidential. So, you need to only be careful about the details you give out to matches.
When it comes to actual meet-ups, make sure not to let the excitement get the best of you. Keep the information provided in the safety guide above in mind to avoid getting into trouble.
Q. Do hookup sites require payment?
There is actually no straight answer to this question. However, your gender and the site you are using usually play a role in determining it. Since the world of online hookups is so vast, you will find some sites charge a fee while others do not. However, one aspect common among most dating sites is that they offer both free and paid versions.
Quite naturally, premium memberships come with advanced features compared to free ones. On most sites, such features are by no means a necessity. However, having them increases your chances of finding a partner quickly.
Most of the above information, though, is for men. If you are a woman, you have no need to worry, as plenty of sites out there allow women to use them without charging a dime. This is because it is women that need more protection on such sites.
Q. How can I get laid using a dating app?
While searching for the perfect partner on a hookup site, do not forgo positive energy, charm, and witty conversation. While it is true you should be 100% honest about your intentions, that does not mean you should let sex dominate the conversation.
Instead, try to show off your true personality, and ensure your matches know just how fun and educated you are. Remember, even the most casual sexual encounter can be a whole new experience, provided it is with someone you have chemistry with instead of simply someone that is willing.
Q. What are the best hookup sites requiring no credit cards or registration?
Most sites will offer a certain amount of chatting and browsing with a free membership. Others, on the other hand, restrict your options to your mutual matches. However, only one site, Reddit r4r, is completely free to use.
Everything from posting ads and browsing user profiles to messaging someone you fancy is completely free on this site.
Conclusion?
Obviously, when you’re embarking on potentially sexy adventures, you need to have your wits about you. Doing a bit of online social stalking (to make sure your date really is who they say they are), meeting in a public place, sharing the meeting deets with a trusted friend, using your own transportation, and staying sober are all great ways you indulge safely.
So do your research, keep safety in mind, and have proper adult conversations before you dive in. Making sure you look after yourself is the best way to ensure a fun experience with someone new.
