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Aussie lads The Love Junkies tumbled around the US in a tour that can be described as loose, van-centric and damn unsafe. But, boys will be boys and under the supreme grace of higher powers none of them were arrested, attacked or killed. Get up in the fresh feels and most certainly smells The Love Junkies created in their filthy great mess of a tour.
The Love junkies went to America and they had a bloody messy tour. Complete with much van time, Trump supporters and beer. Read and be proud.
The Ass End of Spring Break
We managed to arrive in the Nashville towards the ass end of spring break and there were a few stragglers still around either making a pit stop on their way home or just happy to be in Nashville for the occasion, which seemed weird because I got the impression it wasn’t much of a “schoolies” kind of town. Anyways, we ended up bumping into a bunch of girls who were hopped up on study pills, throwing back vodka something somethings… they took to us purely for our accents and the fact that we rolled cigarettes. Once one of the ladies were kind enough to let Harley and myself in on their pharmaceutical fun we took off into the early hours of the first morning of our American tour. We bought a few 40oz bottles of shitty beer and talked shit. At one point I was in the process of carrying one of these ridiculous sized beers to the counter when it slipped from my fingers and smashed all over the floor. I looked at Harley with a “should we run?” but we both stood still and waited for the clerk to dish out the bad news. Luckily, she came back with very little. The expression on her face was something along the lines of “drunk ass white boys”.. She alowed us to replace it with another at no extra charge and we carried on drinking outside a church till the sun came up.
Carpark Ghetto Camping Life
We’re just leaving Galveston, Texas. We wake to some bad news. The show in Baton Rouge had been cancelled due to flash flooding all throughout Louisiana. By the time we had tuned in, three people were dead and a hundreds of homes were damaged. A replacement show at The Click had been organised in Tyler, Texas so we decided to start making our way towards the lone state via a stop over in Memphis. Here, we had a first taste of Walmart carpark ghetto camping life. Once we arrived we bought some stick on hooks, scissors and bed sheets and knocked up some make shift curtains to help keep the creeps out. The car park was thick with fog. Very eerie. We wrapped ourselves up in our blankets and quietly shitting ourselves, fell asleep.
The South and Guns
When we were in San Antonio we played with this lovely fella who’s name I can not remember. He invited us back to his house where we played darts and partied with a whole bunch of crew. Once everybody took off to bed he ended up pulling out a couple of guns explaining how he was a responsible gun owner and this is how you handle the things. Before too long we were getting snaps, feeling all bad ass. Every pose under the sun was done. Then, this chap pulls out a fucking snake. We all became obsessed. Beers, guns and pythons… Frame after frame, the american dream was being captured by our much smarter phones. Soon enough we all passed out. The following morning as we drove to El Paso, we received a message from him asking if we had seen his pistol anywhere… God bless America.
Tucson, wherever that is.
We played a show in Tucson, and met this lovely lady who had us come back to her apartment and sample her collection of fine buds. It was a funny night. Lewis greened out hell bad and spewed on his sleeping bag, which was a total drag because he wouldn’t dump the thing for it was so expensive. We anticipated stale spew smell to join the other lurking stanks in the van which had been fermenting now for a good three weeks, but it didn’t. Anyways, we drove to Phoenix the next day for a show at some dive bar which i’ll get to later… Once we arrived, Harley felt it was a little brisk and started pulling apart the van for his jacket. The jacket didn’t show up. Located in the pocket of that jacket was an Australian passport with his name on it. His ticket home. We began putting all the pieces together and realised he had left it at the ladies apartment in Tucson, four hours away. Luckily, this beautiful person offered to meet us the next morning at a half way point. Some dusty little desert town out in the middle of nowhere. We gave her all the merch we had and bought her a meal, hugged and said goodbye… to the stranger who saved our arses.
So, we planned our sleeping arrangements in a way that had us sleep in the van two to three nights in a row and then have one night in a two bed hotel where we can shower and stretch our legs. The nights we crashed in car parks meant we had no where to pass time other than in the van. In saying that, we were in a different country and I know there were things to see but most of these came with a cost and none of us had any money. This had us spend time loitering around the bars we were playing. This one bar in Phoenix had us meet an outspoken Trump supporter who valued our countries current immigration laws. He was relentless. The kind of person you would conjure up in a southern stereo type. Neck redder than a baboons ass and a tongue so backwards I was surprised he wasn’t choking on it. I wish he would have. I wasn’t even copping it. It was Robbie and Harley having to stand there and try not to say the words that would spark a riot among the backwards, shit hole patrons of the bar we were obliged to be at for another five or so hours. The place didn’t suck, but the people laid out the foundations for a shitty night.
The Love Junkies are smack bang in the middle of a tour for their new single I Had a Party Once right now! Check out the dates below:
Friday May 13th – Perth WA – The Garage, Osborne Park (All Ages)
with Figurehead and Uncle Jeffrey and Moth
Saturday May 14th – Perth WA – Jack Rabbit Slims (18+)
with FOAM and Rag N Bone and Shit Narnia
Thursday May 19th – Bunbury WA – The Prince Of Wales
with Filthy Apes
Thursday May 26th – Brisbane QLD – Black Bear Lodge
with Walken and Deluso
Friday May 27th – Sydney NSW – Brighton Up Bar
With Maids and BadTooth
Saturday May 28th – Melbourne VIC – The Workers Club
With Skyways are Highways and Ohms
Tickets available via venues or www.thelovejunkiesmusic.com
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