Eggs-press Yourself: Netherlands locals vow to peg eggs at Jeff Bezos’ superyacht

In response to the imminent dismantling of an iconic Rotterdamn bridge, Netherland locals are planning to throw eggs at Jeff Bezos’ superyacht.

As of today, more than 3900 people have responded to a Facebook event promising to peg rotten eggs at Jeffrey Bezos’ superyacht, and we think that’s just dandy.

Retired Amazon CEO and fat cat Jeffrey Bezos, having commissioned the construction of 417-foot long, $485 million superyacht, is once more indulging his mega-ego at the expense of an entire township.

Credit: Trip Advisor

The Dutch port city of Rotterdam will figuratively prostrate before the second richest person on earth as they deconstruct the Koningshavenbrug De Hef, a symbolic, historical, and locally beloved bridge, to give Bezos’ superyacht access to the sea.

“Rotterdam was rebuilt from the rubble (of World War II) by the people of Rotterdam, and we won’t just take that apart for the phallic symbol of a megalomaniac billionaire. Not without a fight!” an event coordinator posted on Facebook.

Rotterdam officials have yielded to the request given the local economic boost granted by the project. Council project leader Marcel Walravens called the construction of the superyacht “a very important project”.

Despite the 130 feet of ample clearance height offered by the bridge, Bezos has commissioned the superyacht’s custom build to exceed this.

Local leftist political party GroenLinks held an emergency debate on the issue. City councillor Stephan Leewis said, “this man [Bezos] has earned his money by structurally exploiting staff, evading taxes, avoiding regulations, and now we have to take down our beautiful national monument? That is really going a bridge too far”.

“I understand that it has been agreed that the shipbuilder and Bezos pay the costs of dismantling and reconstruction, but I would like to see those agreements, because there can’t be a cent of public money [involved]”, he said.

If an empire built on the backs of worker exploitation and tax evasion doesn’t bother you, Jeffrey Bezos, then heck, why not desecrate the ancestral sanctity of a beloved, historical monument in the name of a leisurely boat ride?

Happy Egging.