From The Big Banana to The Big Potato, Australia is home to many big things. But which of Australia’s big things are the best things?
Australia is home to many unique and wonderful things. Kangaroos, the Sydney Opera House, Corey Worthington, but possibly our greatest contribution to this world is our obsession with large sculptures as tourist attractions. There are apparently over 150 of them across Australia.
According to the 2020 Wotif Uniquely Aussie Awards, the best of the bunch is also our iconic Big Banana. Personally, and this may be an outlandish claim, I think Wotif have gone with the safe choice here. So, I decided to sit down and rank our most notable big things from worst to best.
#9 – The Giant Koala (Dadswell’s Bridge, Victoria)
First of all, The “Giant” Koala. Excuse me? Too good to call yourself big? Secondly, this 14-meter tall marsupial feels like it’s emerged directly from the depth of hell. Its beady orange eyes seem to follow you wherever you go, staring deep into your soul.
Don’t get me wrong, I love koalas, but The Giant Koala is certainly the most cursed of Australia’s big things.
#8 – The Big Mango (Bowen, Queensland)
Mangoes are a delicious export of Queensland and it was only fitting they were immortalised in big form. But, The Big Mango is a touch underwhelming. Standing at 10-meters tall, it is certainly the biggest of all mangoes, but it does feel a bit like a colourful blob perched on top a hill?
It was also embroiled in a viral marketing stunt by Nando’s, which tricked punters into thinking that it had been stolen, giving us all false hope for an underground crime syndicate that deals in large sculptures of fruit.
Whilst it’s a big improvement from The Giant Koala, it’s just not as impressive as some of the big things to come.
#7 – The Big Boxing Crocodile (Humpty Doo, Northern Territory)
The Big Boxing Crocodile brings up a lot of ethical questions. Who is he fighting? Is crocodile boxing okay? How’d they got the gloves on him? If this is the world’s largest boxing crocodile, where’s the second largest?
He does look pretty cool though, sporting a pair of red boxing gloves. Let’s see Rocky Balboa get in the ring with this bad boy.
#6 – The Big Prawn (West Ballina, NSW)
The Big Prawn stands proud outside a Bunnings in West Ballina, looking over the happy faces of those collecting their Sunday sausage sizzles.
The Big Prawn feels gentle, comforting and, whilst it may be overshadowed by another large crustacean further down the list, it holds its own on the list of Australia’s big things. This is mainly due to its cute little legs and its respect for internet privacy.
Google has blurred the face of Ballina’s Big Prawn https://t.co/938nurzW6p
— Ketan Joshi (@KetanJ0) March 2, 2018
It also makes a great opportunity for a hilarious perspective gag that your dad will love.
#5 – The Big Potato (Robertson, NSW)
This spud may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it is beautiful to me. A glorious dedication to the most versatile food out there, the potato. Now, does it just look a dirty paper maché project slapped together by a primary school student? Yes, but its shapeless brown body is mesmerising.
It doesn’t need any fancy features. It doesn’t need your approval. It doesn’t even need to be recognisable as a potato. It’s perfect just the way it is.
#4 – The Big Pineapple (Woombye, Queensland)
Ok, now we’re getting into hot take territory. I can already hear cries for this one to be higher. And look, it’s a great big thing, evident by me putting above my beloved Big Potato.
The Big Pineapple well and truly lives up to its name, towering over all the other big fruit at 16-meters tall. It has also recently undergone a paint job and its new vibrant colours are a bright and bold representation of sunny Queensland.
Plus you can climb to the top of it. How fun!
#3 – The Big Lobster (Kingston, South Australia)
Look at this thing! My god. If you ever need to reaffirm you are just a tiny blip in this vast, expansive universe take one look at The Big Lobster, or Larry (as he likes to be called).
The biggest of all the big things, standing tall at 17-metres, The Big Lobster frightens me to no end. It’s also the most anatomically correct of the big things, with extra detail around the mouth and shell to make it especially life-like.
I’m sorry, but I had to rank The Big Lobster high on this list purely out of fear that if I didn’t, it would come and consume those close to me.
#2 – The Big Banana (Coffs Harbour, NSW)
Maybe the hottest take of them all: no, the Big Banana is not number 1. As I said at the top of the piece, it’s “the safe choice.”
Yes, it’s an iconic Australian landmark as well as a functioning amusement park and yes, it has featured on Australian currency. Its importance cannot be understated. But, let’s be honest, the banana itself is a little lacklustre.
It still ranks high due to its cultural relevance and high potassium content, but it’s pipped at the post by one last big thing.
A few more beautiful big things that didn’t make it onto the list.
The Big Tennis Racket
The Big Galah
The Big Macadamia Nut
#1 – The Big Merino (Goulburn, NSW)
The Big Merino is an awe-inspiring eighth wonder of the world (not actually). Nicknamed Rambo, this 15-foot tall sheep combines the fun of the Big Pineapple with the threatening aura of The Big Lobster. I think I would even back The Big Merino is a fight to the death, especially when its eyes glow.
The Big Merino currently looks like the evil dog from Ghostbusters. pic.twitter.com/vHS0sprco1
— BuzzFeed Australia (@BuzzFeedOz) November 9, 2015
Despite Rambo’s stone-cold appearance, I want to give him a big hug. I want to be friends with him. I would trust the Big Merino with my life. He looks so wise, like a father figure to all the other big things across the country.
The Big Merino will always be #1 in my heart.