Forget The Force Awakens, the biggest movie to grace the silver screen this year is Candy Crush. That’s right, the frustratingly addictive game has followed in the steps of Battleship, Need For Speed, Tomb Raider and Mario (if only we could forget that monstrosity) and is now a movie.
Well, when we say movie, we mean a four minute skit starring aging action hunk Liam Neeson and the hilarious Stephen Colbert.
If we can exist in a world where an Angry Birds movies exists, then why can’t a Candy Crush movie be a thing? This was the role Liam Neeson was born to play.
During a skit for The Colbert Report, Colbert put his penchant for parody and absurdity to good use and cobbled together a brief scene that would exist in the epic and dangerous Candy Crush universe. The bit sees Colbert take on the role of a ‘candy crusher’, Neeson playing the role of his dying father.
Liam Neeson is well known for his powerhouse roles in films like Schindler’s List, Michael Collins, K-19: The Widowmaker, as well as his more recent renaissance as an action star in films like Taken and The Grey.
With his dying breath he utters “ I spent my best years crushing candy, and yes, as I crushed, I would sometimes think, ‘This is a huge waste of time.’ I could be reading a book or anything, but I kept on going“.
Should this film ever see the light of day, surely lines like “If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will CRUSH you.” Feel free to use that one Activision, the world needs to see it.
News has come through that Activision Blizzard has purchased Candy Crush’s parent company King Digital Entertainment for $5.9 billion US, in addition to establishing a film and television studio. Will we ever see Neeson in an actual Candy Crush movie? If Angry Birds can, one can only hope.
Check out our list of the best movie soundtracks of all time here too.