The juiciest findings from Happy Mag’s 2021 Sex Survey


Last month we launched a survey of Happy Mag readers, covering all things sex, lockdown, sex toys, kink, and more. Here are the results.

The first time Happy Mag ran a Sex Survey, we found out that somebody had conceived their child in a portaloo behind a Violent Soho concert. While we didn’t cop any other stories of immaculate conceptions this time around, the results were nothing short of a wild ride. You guys will really let the truth slip if there’s a Lovehoney voucher on the line.

So without edging y’all any longer, here they are: the results of Happy Mag’s 2021 Sex Survey in all their glory.

The basics

Of the hundreds who responded, 48.2% identified as female, 47.4% identified as male, 2.5% identified as non-binary, 0.6% as genderfluid, and 0.6% as transgender. In terms of sexual orientation, about two thirds (66.7%) of you call yourselves hetero, 14.3% describe themselves as bisexual, 6.1% as queer, 1.1% as lesbian, 2.2% as homosexual, and 5.8% as pansexual.

Oh, and just one reader labelled themselves as “heterosexual with a pegging kink” – nice. And one described their orientation as simply “bored”.

Everybody who responded has had sex at least once in their lifetimes, but 6.9% of you have enjoyed more than 50 partners in your time on this green earth. 26.2% have had 11 to 20, and 16% have had between 21 and 50.

On the other end of the spectrum, 1.7% of respondents have had one sexual partner, 20.4% have had between 2 and 5, and as the most popular answer, 28.9% have had 6 to 10 sexual partners.
It’s important to remember that no matter how much you may compare your ‘number’ to anybody else’s, there’s no right or wrong here. There’s a million factors that can lead to how busy or quiet somebody’s sex life is – sex isn’t a competition, and it never should be.

The majority (41%) of you are in a relationship or married (19.3%), while 21.2% are single. The rest of the pie chart represents Happy Mag readers who are single but with a regular sexual partner (8.8%), in an open relationship or polyamorous relationship (both 2.8%), or separated or divorced.

Photo: AAP

Libidos in lockdown

The coronavirus has seeped its way into pretty much every part of modern life, including the bedroom. In our 2021 Sex Survey we had to check in to see if lockdowns had affected our libidos and spoiler alert, they have. But not in every way.

In fact, just over a third of you – 35.8% to be exact – reported that you were having about the same amount of sex during lockdown as you were before it. A lucky few reported to be having more sex (21.8%), but unfortunately for all of us, that meant the majority were having less than usual. 17.6% of readers said they were having a little less sex than the before times, while almost a quarter of you (24.2%) reported that lockdown meant way less sex. In total, that’s 41.8% of you having less sex during lockdown.

“In every person’s sex life, there will be a dry spell at some point”, shared Lovehoney ambassador Chantelle Otten. “This is totally normal. There is no shame in these dry breaks, whether they are intentional or not.”

A pandemic is about as big a mood killer as they come, so if you’re among the 41.8% of people reading this that have seen a little drop in bedroom activity, know that your feelings are very valid and you’re most definitely not alone.

Elsewhere, 26.4% of you plugged in and had some cyber sex in lockdown. But even less less popular were people who shared that they’d had sex with somebody that they lived with because of lockdown, at just 3.3%. Good on you for keeping those sacred roommate barriers intact, friends.

Apologies in advance to the employers out there – this one’s probably gonna sting. While 40.8% of Happy Mag readers were shining angels on the clock, 25.1% of respondents revealed they had masturbated while working from home, and 5% revealed they’d snuck off for a quick round with their partner.

For a little perspective, if you have an office of 20 people, that means five of them have probably rubbed one out shortly after (or before) taking a Zoom call. And one of them had sex while you paid them – we’ll leave you to ruminate on who that might’ve been.

We also asked if anyone had broken COVID-19 restrictions to have sex in lockdown, and 16% of you had. Naughty. We’re not ones to judge, though, so we made sure to ask for a few stories too. Here’s what some folk sent in:

“Work mate and myself realised how horny we were when we started talking about all the toys I got from Lovehoney so we mutually decided to give it a crack and so far so good hehe.”

“Drove all the way across the state and had sex with an old high school friend. I got fined but I’m not upset.”

“I caught an Uber at 12:34 am to get “dicked-down”. It was definitely out of my 5k. Worth it.”

“We went up this hill in a park and had a great fuck on top of the hill, actually up against some statue thing. Was so good. We got away with it because no one was around due to lockdown.”

“Drove out of my LGA for multiple booty calls.” 

“Hard to find a definition of intimate partner for polyamorous people re: visiting houses. But I have two partners that I visit, not sure on the legality?”

94.2% of you were sure others had broken restrictions to have sex which, considering some of those stories, checks out.

Photo: Lovehoney

Toys, toys, toys

Use of sex toys proved pretty common amongst Happy Mag readers – and hey, we’re proud of you. We’ve never shied away from discussing them in our content, and it’s reassuring to hear that you feel the same way. In terms of numbers, 85.4% of you have used sex toys alone, and 83.8% have used sex toys with a partner.

Out of the sex toys we listed, clitoral stimulators and dildos were by far the most popular, which about half of you have used in the past. G-spot vibrators, wand vibrators, and rabbit vibrators also scored highly, which about a third of you had used, both solo and with a partner.

Cock rings (22.5%), masturbation sleeves (15.4%), fleshlights (13.4%), and strokers (5.4%) proved most popular amongst the toys designed for people with penises.

38.9% of you are more than happy to tell anyone you use sex toys, while 32.2% are willing to tell their friends, 18.2% are open to telling their partner, and 7% wouldn’t tell anyone. High fives all around for getting the good word out there! But who else are you telling, your parents? Your grandparents? Your boss? It may be time for a second survey…

When looking at what’s most important to you when looking at which toys to buy, some important features included waterproof (hello bathtime fun), USB chargers for fun on the go, and quiet toys so those pesky housemates don’t catch you at it.

For readers who don’t use sex toys, the main factors stopping them were that sex toys are too expensive (31.9%) and that they have no idea how to use them (34%). The good news? Lovehoney is currently running a 20% discount for students, and you can also head their way for some expert advice.

A special thanks goes to Lovehoney for their generous provision of prizes for Happy Mag’s 2021 Sex Survey, and for their expert help in putting together this particular section. We hope everybody is thoroughly enjoying their new toys.

Photo: Unsplash

Going solo

Masturbation has plenty of benefits including a better night’s sleep, reduced stress levels, and more, so we’re very glad to report that Happy Mag readers are loving themselves nice and often.

6.4% of readers say they rub one out more than once per day, then 17.2% once per day, the great majority of 42.7% a few times per week, 15.8% once per week, 5.5% once per month, and the rest as either “I’m not sure” or “every once in a while”.

Interestingly, when asked how often you think others masturbate, percentages increased across all brackets, meaning respondents generally felt like everybody masturbates more than them.

The bed won by a landslide (72.5%) as your most popular masturbation destination, followed by the shower or bath (9.1%), a tie between the toilet and the desk (4.5% each), the living room (3.7%), with your partner (1.4%), at work (0.6%), and some miscellaneous answers. One of you just said “anywhere the sun touches” – hopefully nowhere with people around, dude.

The kinky bit

Now here’s the bit I know a few of you horndogs are looking forward to: kinks. Despite us including a ‘Prefer not to say’ option across every survey question, the lot of you were especially forthcoming when it came to the naughty shit you get up to. So hey, thanks for that.

The spectrum of BDSM proved most popular overall, with 33.1% of readers reporting to practice Bondage and Discipline, 42.7% Dominance and Submission, and 10.5% Sadism and Masochism.

Working our way down from there, 36.1% of readers have an edging kink, 25.9% love a bit of role play, 24.8% are voyeurs, 12.7% like impact play, 11% enjoy temperature play, 8.3% have a pee kink, and just 7.7% are foot fetishists.

Less popular, but still represented kinks included Daddy/DDLG, gangbangs and orgies, armpits, pegging, tantra, exhibitionism, free use, sniffing, and more.

Just 8.3% of Happy Mag readers are swingers, but expectedly, they were very stoked to share their experiences.

“We were four friends on holiday, and we just thought, why not? It started with both girls wanting each other and blossomed from there. Quite a night.”

“Swingers always invite me for orgies lol.”

“I’ve dated a couple at the same time, which was really hot and fun. I’ve been in a few open relationships too, which can be really sexy and liberating or really stressful – depending on how communicative and understanding we both are.”

“I assume you don’t mean the childhood playground activity?”

While swinging may not be everyone’s cup of tea, group sex proved slightly more accessible. 32.2% of readers have had group sex in their lives, mostly threesomes (22.6%), but 8.3% have had sex with 4 to 9 people at once, and 1.4% of you have taken part in orgies with more than 10 people.

Back to the D and S of BDSM, just over half (52.1%) of you reported to switch between roles in the bedroom. Where fixed roles were concerned, 16.8% said they are submissive, 14.9% said they are dominant, and 16.3% said they were neither.

35% of people in relationships said they’re satisfied with how kinky their partners are, while 13.1% said they weren’t. The rest didn’t mind.

Image: Ed Bartok ‘Tube Men’, 2020. Acrylic on wood panel, 40x80cm. @ed.bartok

We’re almost finished, are you?

We bookended the 2021 Sex Survey with a few extra questions, the first of which was all about orgasms. Thankfully 62.3% of you agreed that your own and your partner’s orgasms were equally important, while 28.7% said that giving their partner an orgasm was more important than having one themselves.

Just 3% of you said giving yourself an orgasm is more important, while 6.1% shared that they didn’t think orgasms were important at all. It’s about the journey, not the destination – we get you.

38% of readers shared that they regularly experience sexual challenges such as erectile dysfunction, dryness, or a general loss of interest. When asked what they thought the main cause was, the most popular answers were “I don’t know” (20.4%), stress or anxiety (both 15.2%), depression (10.5%), medication (7.9%), and alcohol or drugs (8.4%).

Just because your arousal isn’t what it once was, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex and masturbation. There are a few tools you can use maintain a fun and healthy sex life such as lube, arousal balm, and toys such as the king of vibes, the Magic Wand, and cock rings which can help enhance an erection.

About two thirds (65.3%) of you will have sex if yourself or your partner is on their period, meaning a third would not.

And finally, we asked if anyone followed influencers or celebrities who regularly discuss sex in some way. The majority of you didn’t (61.9%), but for those of you who did, the most popular names were sexologist and Lovehoney Ambassador Chantelle Otten (15.5%), Abbie Chatfield (15.2%), FlexMami (9.8%), and Lily Allen (7.3%).

So there we have it. A massive thank you to everyone who submitted an answer to Happy Mag’s 2021 Sex Survey. We hope you learned something about yourselves, about your fellow Happy Mag readers, and maybe even the world around you.