Pōneke’s own, jeline, talks ‘losing all of me’ and her creative process with Jack Hegarty
jeline is giving us an inside look at her new single ‘losing all of me’ in a candid chat with her producer Jack Hegarty.
From the initial spark of inspiration during a frustrating break from music, to turning her raw ideas into a full indie-rock sound, the duo break down their creative process with honesty, humour, and plenty of behind-the-scenes stories.
And just in time for halloween, they also touch on the spooky, cinematic music video that brings the song to life–and the personal meaning hidden beneath its narrative.
It’s a peek behind the curtain at how jeline’s music comes to life, and why this track feels especially powerful for her.
jeline: Kia ora! Hi! My name is jeline. I’m an indie pop-rock artist from Wellington, New Zealand, and I’m here to do a little artist on producer interview with my lovely producer, Jack Hegarty.
JACK: Oh, yeah.
jeline: Yeah, so I’ve released a new single, ‘losing all of me’, and yeah, we’re just gonna ask each other a few questions, and get to know each other’s processes.
Do you want to do Paper, Scissors, Rock to go first?
JACK: Alright. (paper scissors rock ensues, jeline wins)
jeline: I’ll start.
JACK: Will you now?
jeline: I will.
JACK: Okay. That’s crazy!
jeline: You told me recently that ‘losing all of me’ is one of the songs you’re more prouder of from the ones that we’ve made. Why is that?
JACK: Goes hard. I think the combination of a hard… Not like a hard rock song. It’s not like the most hundies song you’ve ever heard. It’s not like your Tuesday night at Valhalla with seven people in the audience.
But it’s one of the more intense songs and I like sort of that more high intensity… sound – not just using fat drums and fat guitars, but also using a lot of synth elements to make that sort of not indie rock but sort of more rocky rock sound is what sort of led me to believe that this was one of the more favourite ones that we’ve done just because of how hard the overall result went.
jeline: Yeah and you tend to also like songs that you do a bit more prod on, do you think that was the same case here with ‘losing all of me’?
JACK: What do you mean by that?
jeline: You tend to like songs that you do more production on. Is that also the same case with ‘losing all of me’, apart from what you’ve said about just trying out a hard rock song?
JACK: I mean I’m just happy with the overall result. I don’t think it matters how much I put into it.
Sometimes songs can sound really good with two or three layers some can sound just as good or even worse with a hundred layers but I think the amount of things that we added all add up to be something that we can both be proud of yeah plus some sick-ass drums from the bro Ben which really pulled it all together. Thank you Ben!
jeline: Ben McHardy is our drummer in our live band as well, love you Ben! That’s my question one.
JACK: That was a great question. Let’s see what this question’s gonna do for you. How’d you think of the song…
jeline: That’s it haha?
JACK: No haha. When did the very first inspirational idea of the song come to you? I know it was during a break from music when you were frustrated. So what point during your break from music did you decide to channel your break and frustration to music into an actual song?
jeline: It was in the middle of last year, I’d say. It was like at the point where I just started my first full-time job.
It was just an admin job. And it was fine and it paid good but like it obviously wasn’t really what I wanted to do what I wanted to do in life, and I think it was just that on top of us releasing my last single from last year ‘lil bluebird’, just having to do that full time and still not really getting the hang of like the whole social media thing.
It was that on top of a lot of personal relationships that were also linked in through music. I feel like in Wellington, it’s very common to have friendships and relationships that are really mixed in with your creative works, like music.
And it was just also at that, right at that point as well, me just discovering my identity a bit more, being more confident in who I am as a brown, Filipino, Asian girl.
So coming to terms with that and trying to discuss that with other people who may not relate to me. And just kind of losing those connections. It just all came at once. And just losing those relationships and the strain of music and trying to balance my life with my actual existing relationships that still exist.
Yeah, it all collapsed right in the middle of the year. And I was just like, Jesus, I have to do a whole other six months of sticking it out. So I better write a song about it!
Which is the weirdest thing. It’s not weird. But it’s like “oh, the one thing I’m really hating at the moment is music. Let’s fucking write a song about hating music.” But yeah, I’d say it landed right in that smack bang middle.
jeline: My second question to you is… I generally give you a baseline idea of what to produce for the song.
JACK: Mm-hmm.
jeline: Or I give you really specific ideas.
JACK: Mm-hmm.
jeline: And it’s never in between, right? How do you fill in those middle bits? And especially in terms of ‘losing all of me’.
JACK: I think the main takeaway is that anything’s better than nothing. Whether it’s a general idea or a really specific idea, they’re both something to work off. So it’s a whole lot easier than saying, “Hey let’s make a beat. Let’s make a rock song.”
It’s like… okay, but if you’re like “oh let’s make a rock song about not liking music since,” I’ll be like bet give me like 20 minutes to try and load FL Studio and then bet, give me another hour to try and start making the song.
But yeah I’d say just I’m sort of able to work with whatever you give me, but just the fact that you’ve given me something and you have the idea in the first place.
jeline: What I’m also wondering is, how do you take my really non-theoretical music, mumbo jumbo explaining, into actual formed production?
JACK: Well, it’s like, you’ve listened to music before. You may think it’s musical mumbo jumbo, but it’s based in… it’s not…you’re pulling it out of thin air. It’s based off your listening experiences in your… what you listen to and how you’ve grown up with music, so it’s not like senseless claims, so there’s a lot of merit to the mumbo jumbo that you have. It’s sort of easy to see behind where you’ve come from and what you’ve listened to and how you might think that this would sound good, so it’s not as far off as you think as just random ideas. And just sort of working with you over the years, it’s been a lot easier to decode your blah blah blah. Question two?
jeline: Question two? For you?
JACK: You get an idea/have a vibe for a tune. How do you go about getting the very first lyric of this vibe or this tune onto the page like where do the first words come from or if that’s not the case do the melodies come first and if so how do you eventually fit words into those melodies?
jeline: They normally come at the same time! So with all my songs that we’ve made, produced and released, normally what happens is that I’ll get a lyric with a tune in my head.
JACK: It’ll just pop up like a light bulb over the head?
jeline: Literally! like it would just be like just a random moment it could be in the shower it could be in the bus it could be
JACK: When was the last time you took a bus?! This is a fake public transport enjoyer. Don’t fall for her propaganda.
jeline: Well hehe, I’m just thinking about…
JACK: She doesn’t even follow @ifuckinglovemetlink on Instagram.
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jeline: I’m just thinking about ‘everyone wants hermia’! That’s where I got the tune from. It could just happen anywhere. And then what I do nowadays is that I’ll record it down, I’ll sing it and then I’ll leave it be for like a month or two. And if it’s still…
JACK: Yeah, let it marinate.
jeline: And if it’s still in my head and it’s still like… “Oh yeah, this is singable.” Or it keeps coming up, then I’ll develop it. And then that’s where I actually… I actually think!
Then I’ll try to write down the lyrics by the time I’ve done that recording, that initial idea recording. And so I know what the song’s about and I know what it’s supposed to mean.
Then it’s just figuring out what, what key or whatever chords or notes I sang for that, finding chords for that and then finding lyrics. And it depends with each song what comes to me faster.
But it’s always a light bulb light, lyric tune idea at the same time. And then, wait. And then, if it’s still there, develop.
JACK: Let it marinate, see if it still cooks a lot.
jeline: Let it marinate? Like, the good old Korean barbecue at the.. Oh, yeah, because this is Happy Mag! Sydney! Okay, there’s a Korean barbecue. I don’t remember what it’s called.
JACK: Wagyu House? Wagyu Train?
jeline: Yeah, it’s in like… Is it East Sydney?
JACK: Nah, West.
jeline: West Sydney.
JACK: Wagyu House Croydon.
jeline: Yeah, bro! whoever’s listening to this or whoever’s reading this chat, go. It’s so good and actually so much more affordable than New Zealand for better quality. Anyways, question three.
With my music being in the indie genre in general, but fronting different sub-genres for each song, like ‘losing all of me’ is more like an indie rock song, right? How do you
maintain a cohesive sound across all my songs, but still maintaining the sub-genre fronting that we want and the indie genre?
JACK: Use all the same plugins and samples. I mean, I don’t think it’s deeper than that. It’s like, I’m not another producer. Like I’m me. I have my go-to techniques and plugins and like favourite sound banks that I use.
I have my favourite keyboard that I use to make songs. So everything’s going to be sort of in its own world and that goes from artist to artist as well. It’s like, I’m making rock songs on FL studio.
jeline:Period.
JACK: So like it’s not going to be pushed out too far. But yeah I sort of…I sort of sit within my own comfort zone in the studio and apply that to the different things that I’m asked to do, so yeah I just try to keep it simple like that.
jeline:Keep it simple, slay pookie.
JACK: Question three.
jeline:Question three.
JACK: Since ‘overthinking it’/’Madame Butterfly’, the bangers of the century, how has your songwriting or song development changed since then?
jeline:I just think more when writing songs. I think definitely back then, you could tell what I really liked in terms of music. That being K-pop and Doja Cat and trying to mix it in New Zealand music right?
And yes, the way that I sing the way that I, you know, pace lyrics – it was always very like “speed speed ahbfslksjfbvkadbskvbksbvkd” you know?
I think just the more time I spent listening to our peers’ music, listening to more New Zealand music, just like indie music in general. That was very new to me when I started uni in 2021. That’s where we got our start, by the way.
JACK: Yeah!
jeline: I think I just got more used to what the genre sounds like and I really liked it. And that’s like, “okay, this is where I see myself.” But, you know, obviously not exactly being super strict indie, like, stuff.
But just listening to our friends, how they pace their music, how they write their music, but again still keeping true to myself. I still do a lot of jumpy melodies because I think that’s just who I am, but I definitely take a lot more time with how I pace my lyrics and enjoying that more than trying to spit all my ideas out word vomit.
I think in terms of the words, just trying to be a bit more concise and a bit more yeah thoughtful and…
JACK: Intentional?
jeline: Yeah, intentional on what I say, just to be like hit the point once and so it doesn’t mean you have to do more word vomit to explain your point. So I guess that’s how it’s changed since ‘overthinking it’. I’m not overthinking it as much hehe. Okay my final question for you is
You have a lot of other bands such projects you’re a part of such have been a part of what makes my music compelling enough to work on it and what has made ‘losing all of me’ interesting enough for you to work on it specifically?
JACK: think the fact that you’re passionate to have me on board is something that keeps me coming back. We share a vision together. Now it’s getting deep. We see a pathway through each other in the future. We share one vision.
You have faith in me as a producer. I have faith in you that you’ll cook up some sick ideas. We like sort of the same inspirations and we aspire to… make cool stuff together so I’m just happy to be asked to do it and try and make it as cool as I can, bar mixing.
jeline: Has that kind of train of thought still kept with ‘losing all of me’?
JACK: Yeah very much so. It’s proven that we can that, we’re not as washed as we thought we were in terms of what we’re making that we can still make stuff that we’re like oh yeah.
jeline: But then also people can like as well.
JACK: Exactly.
jeline: Thank you NZ On Air!!
JACK: So it just makes me excited for the next songs that we have to make. And I hope I don’t stuff them up and make them boring.
jeline: No, we’ll be j chilling. Is that a hint, hint, sneak peek for new material?
JACK: No, this is our final song ever.
jeline: That’s it haha!
JACK: Yeah you get what you’re given. Great success!
jeline: Do you have one more question?
JACK: Oh, yeah. I forgor :p
jeline: You forgor :p
JACK: Alright, some people hearing the song might think that it’s written about a person from a person’s perspective. You know, losing all the meaning to be with you, blah, blah, blah. Yeah.
And seeing the music video might also create this impression of like an actual toxic relationship. Yeah. So in what ways have you or did you aim to convey the deeper meaning of the song of falling out of love with music to the listener/watcher?
jeline: Well, I think that was the thing about this song. It was like.. that was my personal experience. You know how art can have different meanings and whatnot.
I guess the commercial meaning, the general meaning is “oh, you’re in a toxic relationship.” And it could be of any kind. I just decided to portray it, especially in the music video, as like a toxic romantic relationship. I feel like that’s like a pretty common thing that people have been in.
And I’ve definitely had my fair share of those toxic relationships. And I think it was just a more compelling narrative to spin for the video, mixed with having like a horror movie kind of idea. But in terms of the deeper meaning, I guess it’s just, it’s definitely more… it’s not overt in the actual video.
It’s not that deep hehehe. I mean it’s deep, but I don’t go out of my way to be like “music is the one ruining my life!!” It’s like you choose your own adventure, you make what you think of the song. I guess it’s the reward of – if you follow me and you listen to me and you actually keep up, then ‘if you know you know’ thing.
If you want to engage with me more, you will find the story about my music and the way that I wrote the song, it was supposed to be general because, how do you in a catchy, compelling way say that this non-physical object – music, this idea is ruining my life?? I feel like it’s for me, it’s much easier to song write when you’re personifying an idea.
JACK: And i’m losing all of this metaphysical relationship with music that I’ve crashed out about in the last two years everything about the fact that I used to once consider this as a passion to be with you.
jeline: But yeah, I think yeah commercially, that’s what it was supposed to be, just a general so people can relate to it. But people can find out the deeper meaning of the song you know, if they read this article or if they follow me. Because if people are really interested in me, I have all the backstory there for them, you know?
JACK: Yeah.
jeline: I’ve definitely been more vulnerable, especially with the newer songs I’m creating since ‘each year’ and ‘losing all of me’ and now they’re definitely tapping into really specific subjects in my life.
The song is very general cause I’d love people to relate to my music and give them an outlet and whatnot. But again, if you follow me and if you, I don’t know, read my captions hehe.
I’m saying all the lore up there. And you know, I put it in my content really sub-not subtly, but like it’s sprinkled in there that “this is what the song is about!” Or even if you just ask me! like, “what’s the meaning of the song?”
JACK: What’s the meaning of the song?
jeline: Yeah, literally. If you DM me, “what is the meaning of any song that I have?”, I will just be straight up and be like, “this is what it is and this is what it is to me”. So feel free to DM me! But I really like that question. Thank you!
JACK: Yay!
jeline: But yeah. I think that’s us.
JACK: Great success.
jeline: Great success. Thank you happy mag, thank you Jack Hegarty for yapping with me and um yeah!
JACK: Bye!
jeline: Live laugh love! Stream ‘losing all of me’, it’ll be a fun listen! Bye!
