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Jeff Bezos set to blast off with his big boy, penis shaped rocket

CEO of Amazon, Jeff Bezos, announced he will be blasting into space next month, but his ENORMOUS rocket has aroused the most excitement.

Amazon CEO and one of the worlds richest men, Jeff Bezos, has announced his debut into space.

Undoubtedly, this is a significant achievement for Bezos, but some can’t help but see the humour behind his impressive…rocket.

Jeff Bezos amazon ceo rocket
Image: Broke-Ass Stuart

Today show hosts Allison Langdon and Karl Stefanovic struggled to stifle laughs over the “odd” appearance of Bezos steel phallus.

Bezos described his upcoming trip to space as a “big deal“. This big deal translates to a measly hour, which will crown Bezos as the first billionaire to enter space, leaving fellow competitors Elon Musk and Richard Branson in the dust.

It has been described as the ultimate “d*ck wagging contest“, and boy has Bezos knobbed first place.

Amidst the celebrations, Bernie Sanders has taken this as an opportunity to reiterate Bezos’ greed and selfishness:

The 57-year-old and his balding brother, Mark, will enter the stratosphere together, and one lucky person can join them for just $3.6 million!

Yes, that is the price of a sole ticket to breathe the same air as two creamy men in their 50’s.

Totally worth it, but I can achieve the same thing at my local dive bar for a much more affordable fare.

Jeff Bezos Amazon rocket today show karl stefanovic
Image: YouTube

In what appears to be a case of life beautifully imitating art, the phallic image of Bezos rocket feels like a scene straight from Austin Powers.

Like I said;

~Life imitates art~

However, in a comical turn of events, a petition to make sure Bezos hour-long journey turn into a lifetime, has reached over 100,000 signatures.

People on Twitter have provided poignant explanations as to why Bezos should remain in space:

The image of the Bezos brothers making awkward conversation with that lucky ticket-holder brings me so much joy.

I mean, imagine saying you spent $3.6 million to exchange stale, fart-tinged air with the Bezos’.

Unfortunately, the petition has no concrete plan, so the chances of it playing out are thinner than the Earth’s inner core.

Therefore, if things flow accordingly, passengers will exit the Blue Origin via a capsule, that will then see their safe, parachute landing in the West Texas desert.

And they all lived happily ever after.