12 Best Online Dating Tips by Experts for Successful Online Dating
Did you notice how (almost) every couple nowadays has met online? The dating game and hunting are now done on these online dating apps, and that’s just facts.
The game has changed a bit, too, and there are new dating rules and etiquette.
You want to learn the ropes of online dating, so you can ace the game. Who better to fill you in than online dating experts?
We brought them on board and came up with the 12 best online dating tips to turn your online dating luck around.
Online Dating Tips
Overview
- Choose the right dating app
- Figure yourself out
- Do your part
- Don’t act like you’re above dating apps
- Keep it real (be approachable)
- Avoid the ‘beige’ flags
- Take advantage of ice-breakers
- Get rid of the ‘your type’ mindset
- Learn to deal with rejections
- Avoid the dating app burnout
- Make sure you’re on the same page
- Save the good stuff for IRL
1. Choose the Right Dating App
First things first, you’ve gotta head to the best dating apps. No one meets in a coffee shop anymore, and neither will you, so drop the whole ‘I will meet someone in real life’ shtick – it won’t happen.
Now, choosing a dating site may seem like an obvious and easy enough step, but it will also take some time and effort.
There are all kinds of dating apps and websites nowadays.
You want to choose the right one based on what kind of relationship you want (serious relationship or casual dating), but some other things, too.
Look for vibrant dating apps with lots of online daters (especially if you live in a rural area), and choose the ones with the kind of people you want to meet online.
One pro tip – a video chat feature is always a good idea.
Video chat works for weeding out fake profiles, but it’s also great for online dates to see if you and your potential match have chemistry.
2. Figure Yourself Out
You need to know what you want when you date. It may sound silly, but it’s a major point of confusion, and your whole approach will depend on it.
Are you looking for a committed relationship, or do you want to date for fun?
This is also important when choosing the right dating sites. There’s a reason why Anthony Recenello, a social skills coach, always says, ‘’Figure out who you are, who you like, and where they are.’’ Take his advice.
You don’t have to be dead-set on a specific type of partner – that can also be a shortcoming.
But you should know yourself and what kind of matches you would vibe with, and what works for you in relationships.
People will surprise you, both on dating sites and face-to-face, and you can feel attracted and even fall in love with people you never thought you would.
There’s nothing wrong with that – therein lies the beauty of relationships.
But you should head to these dating apps with a pretty good idea of what you want to get out of them and who you want to meet online.
3. Do Your Part
There’s a long way from joining a dating site and actually having dates, and you’re the one who needs to carry the journey.
You should start with your dating profile.
Don’t half-ass your bio part, or just upload one photo, especially if it’s a photo of a sunrise or some other stupid thing (you’d be surprised).
Make yourself stand out.
Write something catchy or funny in your bio part, or at least make it informative and easy to piggyback onto so folks can start a conversation with you.
As for the photos, don’t post overly-filtered photos.
You know the running joke – ‘If we meet offline and you look nothing like your photos, you’re buying me drinks until you do.’
Don’t be the butt of the joke.
Post realistic photos. Throw in some clear shots of your face and some full-body pictures, preferably of you doing stuff you like or engaging in your hobbies.
Smiles are always a good idea.
4. Don’t Act Like You’re Above Dating Apps
Here’s an interesting quote – ‘I wish there was an online dating website for people who hate online dating.’
Don’t be THAT GUY. No one likes that guy.
We all have friends like that, and there are many more people like that on the best dating sites. And let us tell you something – our research shows they aren’t popular.
If you’re on a dating app and you want to get dates, don’t act like you’re above it all.
Other people aren’t always thrilled about everything that goes on on these sites, but they’re not being a little prick about it.
We’re all in the same boat here.
Understand that, and don’t be negative about the whole thing. Being honest is nice, but you know how being ‘brutally honest’ tends to drive people away, and you don’t want that.
5. Keep It Real
The goal is to sell yourself to other online daters so you can get a first date, a second date, and then even a relationship.
Now, selling yourself like a product in a market feels weird, but it’s a huge part of dating online with one key difference – don’t make yourself look ‘too perfect.’
It’s a major turn-off that will chase away many good matches.
Think about it – dating is stressful, and it can do a number on people’s confidence. Your potential matches may feel intimidated by you, and that’s not what you want to achieve here.
Ditch all efforts to create a fake persona, even if you may feel pressured to do so.
Instead, make yourself feel approachable. Make it easy on other online daters, and you’ll make it easy on yourself by doing so.
Be honest about who you are and be charitable to others.
BE YOU – that’s who your potential partner wants to meet. Have an easy-going aura around yourself, and you will make more friends and get more dates.
6. Avoid the ‘Beige’ Flags
The tricky thing about dating online is that you don’t want to bore the heck out of women or men, but you also don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable.
You should, by all means, try to be approachable.
But don’t be boring and ditch the ‘beige flags’ and ‘nowhere question.’ What are the ‘beige flags?’ We hear you ask.
The ‘beige flags’ are all of those overused questions and pickup lines most people are tired of.
Kinda like asking someone, ‘What’s your dog’s name?’ because you saw their dog in their photos.
That’s a ‘nowhere question’ because it doesn’t lead to a conversation – you’ll only get the dog’s name IF you’re lucky enough.
Don’t be so predictable and boring.
Chances are tens or hundreds of men or women have already asked them that question. You’ve gotta come up with better ones.
Be thought-provoking and push the envelope a little bit.
Feel free to piggyback on their photos and bio, but be more innovative and ask fun, open-ended questions that can actually lead to a conversation. You know, the ones they’ll want to answer and talk about.
7. Take Advantage of Ice-Breakers
Listen, striking up a conversation with a person whose profile you’ve just seen on one of these websites isn’t easy.
Here’s one pro tip – you don’t always have to be fully present and overthink everything when making the first step.
Luckily for all of us, many websites have some sort of ice-breakers available to ease the first step with your potential date. These can even be personalized messages based on your shared interests.
Hit the person that seems hot or interesting with one of those.
For example, Hinge has these ice-breakers in the form of questions the person is supposed to answer. You’ll see the answer on the person’s profile and you can use it to start a conversation, or crack a joke about it.
Other dating websites may have automated questions you can send to the person you’re into – these are great, too.
Take advantage of the tools you have at your disposal. They are there for that, and they work!
8. Get Rid of the ‘Your Type’ Mindset
If you have a vision of an ideal partner for a relationship, boy, do we have a bubble to burst for you. Every relationship expert and (almost) everyone who met online or in real life will tell you that that’s not how things work.
Especially not for those looking for relationships.
For example, here’s one quote from Anna Kai, a dating expert, ‘Trust who makes you feel comfortable. You might not know if you love someone right away, but you know who makes you feel at home.’
This is a solid piece of advice for those who date for relationships.
Don’t treat your matches on these apps like job interviews and don’t have a roster. Instead, look how they make you feel.
Take some time out for a little self-reflection and figure out what you want and why you think that’s what you want.
BUT don’t settle by any means.
Don’t force yourself, but talk to all kinds of people. Give them and you a chance. You never know. Worst case scenario? You go out on a date with them, and you get a bad date. Big deal. But you could end up with an unsuspecting surprise.
9. Learn to Deal With Rejections
Listen, not everyone’s gonna like you. People have broken up with Taylor Swift, as we all know, so what can the rest of us expect?
That’s just how things are, and rejections are a part of dating, too.
You will need to reject some people, and some will reject you, too. What you want to do is learn how to reject folks without ruffling feathers and how to not take rejections personally.
When it comes to the former, take the bandage out as soon as possible.
Be kind about it. For example, tell them you enjoyed talking with them or spending time face-to-face, but you don’t think you’re the right fit.
When someone does the same to you, accept it nicely.
Wish them the best of luck with dating online. You may even add that you feel the same way to save your ego if you want.
Either way, don’t take it personally, and don’t give up. Keep the motivation going – you’ll need it for when that one person you really like likes you back!
10. Avoid the Dating App Burnout
Speaking of motivation, dating burnout is a thing. Talking to multiple people all at once and not getting a date or feeling meh about them can be both time-consuming and tiring on the psyche, causing people to feel burnout.
This is another reason why you should reject the men or women you don’t like as soon as possible – to focus on the ones you do.
When it comes to avoiding dating burnout, our advice is that you don’t have to cast the widest of nets.
It’s not just a numbers game.
Take it easy and do it at your own pace if you want to keep the motivation to date. You have to have patience.
What you don’t have to do is set a number of people you need to talk to or deadlines by when you need a date or a relationship.
Forget about all of that.
If you notice you’re losing motivation or feeling worn out, take a break. Go touch grass or hang out with friends – there is no deadline.
11. Make Sure You’re on the Same Page
On those days you hit it off with another person and you two are ready to roll – there’s still some work to be done if you want to do it right.
If you want to avoid bad dates or worse faith, you have to make sure that both you and the other person want the same thing out of the relationship.
And this goes even if you and the other person are both on an app for hookups only – you don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable.
You can even state what you’re looking for in your bio part to make it easier for everyone involved, but you’ll still need to clear things out.
This doesn’t mean you should state you want to get married right away, even if you do.
If you’re looking for something serious, just say that, and you’ll take things as they come later on in the relationship.
12. Save the Good Stuff for IRL
Listen, you don’t want to fall in love with potential only to find out that the other person is not who you thought they were.
Dating online is there for you two to see if you want to take things into real life, not as a substitute for real dating.
So, try to set up the first meeting as soon as you feel comfortable.
There are no rules as to when you should have the first date with the person you like – you two should take things at your own pace.
A dating coach may recommend two weeks, but that’s still just a recommendation and not a rule set in stone.
Test out the chemistry, see how both of you are feeling, and then ask the other person out if they don’t ask you first.
Choose an activity both of you like, or just go grab a coffee somewhere.
5 Online Dating Red Flags to Watch Out For
We told you the ins and outs of online dating according to various dating experts, but we still have to share some safety precautions.
Yes, these are the boring things you probably already know, but safety is the most important thing when dating online.
So, do us a favor and go over these, too, will you?
Avoid Suspicious Profiles
If a person looks sketchy or acts fishy, steer clear of them. Leave some rocks unturned – you don’t have to chat with EVERYONE. If something seems odd or fraudulent, report the person to the mods. They’ll know what to do.
Don’t Share Personal Info Easily
Don’t share your personal information with anyone on these dating websites. This goes for your personal phone number, too.
There’ll be a time for that, but it’ll be way into your offline life.
You should probably avoid sharing social media info until you get to know the other person. They can use that to discover your place of work or even your home address.
Keep all the communication on the dating site until you’re sure you’re safe. This especially goes for women.
Don’t Send Money
Everyone has a friend who has fallen victim to online scams, and you probably already know this, but here it goes again – don’t transfer money.
Don’t do it under any circumstances.
All the scammers who got your friend also had a semi-believable sob story, so don’t believe it. If they really needed the money for an emergency, they wouldn’t be looking for it on dating sites – they’d call their family or friends.
Choose Public Places for First Dates
We all know this already – your first date with someone needs to happen in a public place. Forget about your shared hobby of rock climbing – there’s time for that later.
You don’t want to go into the woods with someone you’ve only met online.
Choose crowded public places and have your own transportation sorted out because you don’t want someone you just met driving you home, either.
Keep Someone in the Know
When you’re meeting a potential partner IRL, you’ve got to keep someone from your support system in the know. Tell your friend or family member where you’re going, with whom, and when you should be back home.
Online Dating FAQs
Before we leave you to test your luck on some of the best dating websites, we’ll also answer some of the popular questions about dating online.
What Is the Trick to Online Dating?
Here are some tricks to online dating:
- Choose the right dating app
- Figure yourself out
- Do your part
- Don’t act like you’re above dating apps
- Keep it real (be approachable)
- Avoid the ‘beige’ flags
- Take advantage of ice-breakers
- Get rid of the ‘your type’ mindset
- Learn to deal with rejections
- Avoid the dating app burnout
- Make sure you’re on the same page
- Save the good stuff for IRL
What Are Red Flags With Online Dating?
Some of the biggest red flags with online dating are when they ask you for money, won’t do video calls, look too good to be true, or call you to their home right away.
How Do I Make Online Dating Less Awkward?
You can make online dating less awkward by not taking it too seriously. Make your profile appear approachable and act natural.
Good Luck With Online Dating!
There you have it – 12 online dating tips, as taught by dating experts and people who have had their share of the dating pie.
Remember, ultimately, dating is just people mingling and having relationships.
And you get to choose and define those relationships and how things will go. There is a thing called dating etiquette, as you’ve seen, but no rules are set in stone.
The important thing is not to take things too seriously and to take care.
Be you and have fun. You want the people to be attracted to YOU, so give them that, take care, don’t make others feel unsafe, and it’ll all work out.
You will also need to have some patience, but it WILL work out, just like it has for many before you, and it will be worth the wait.
