This New Light is the blooming folk project of Samuel Ayling, a gifted writer who doesn’t shy away from the personal.
If you haven’t caught the gentle folk magic of you, all along by This New Light, there’s never been a better time. The Brisbane artist recently spoke to us about the EP and his future plans, but today, he has a more personal experience to share.
Samuel recently expressed interest in discussing his health condition and its influence on his musical journey. Through sharing, Samuel hopes to raise awareness and spark meaningful conversation about this issue. In the artists words, this is what it’s like to be a creative living with ulcerative colitis…
Being a musician and creative living with Ulcerative Colitis is a funny thing. From the outside, my life must look pretty normal (and sometimes it can be), but there are times when day-to-day existence can be really taxing.
Ulcerative Colitis is a chronic disease that I’ve lived with for about four years now.
The strange nature of the condition means that some days I’m perfectly healthy, and other days I can be in serious discomfort, unable to control where or when I might need the toilet.
The goal with my treatment then is to stay in a place where my gut doesn’t try to attack itself but also that my immune system isn’t too dulled by the medications.
It’s a complex balance but my regular conversations with doctors and support mean things have been on the improve since my diagnosis!
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I recall one experience in university when I was going through a flare (a three month period of intense symptoms) and had a performance recital in front of three lecturers and my peers.
Even without my health condition, I was freaking out over the immense pressure connected to the examination; I had to perfectly play all scales and modes in all 12 keys and perform a jazz melody in Gb!! My jazz saxophone tutor was an incredibly intense man and even my more accomplished mates were stressing!
About 15mins before my scheduled exam, I was practically in tears crouched on the toilet having yet another runny, bloody stool motion (side note: that’s as gross as this story gets).
I had no idea if I would have the concentration or focus to pass the exam, but I knew I needed to put on a brave face and act as though nothing was wrong. I felt so light on my feet, but I couldn’t let that hinder my chances of success.
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Now, a few years on, I’m saddened that I felt I needed to conceal the truth of what I was going through.
Human bodies are weird (like seriously weird!), but the thought that we can’t have open conversations about health and wellbeing and heck, even poo sometimes is even sadder! My life as a musician is probably different to most others because of UC. But at the same time, it’s not!
Since opening up about my condition, I’ve felt a huge burden lifted off my shoulders, and I now know that I can have real conversations with my listeners.
Some of the earliest songs I wrote for TNL are very light and optimistic, and whilst there are times I feel like this, there are also times I don’t. And so being able to share songs about both the highs and lows has really given me confidence as a songwriter.
So here’s a collection of songs that hit me in the feels when I think about my health condition. Some of these tracks are super heavy and sad, others are hopeful and promising. Whatever mood you find yourself in today, embrace it! xx TNL.
Listen to This New Light’s “All the feels” playlist below:
