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Best Dad Jokes – love them or hate them, here are our faves

Dad jokes, love them or hate them, mostly they give you a little giggle, or at the very least elicit an eye roll.

Dads are for the most part naturally funny guys, whether that’s largely in their own eyes or the eyes of their kids, I’ll leave that up to you to decide. But one thing is for sure, they love nothing more than to pull out the old PG, corny dad joke to entertain and bring a sense of lightness to any situation. Here Waterstone shares some of their fav Dad Jokes from a few of their fav Authors. 

Steve Carrell The office
Credit: Giant Freaking Robot

Did you hear about the medieval guitar shop?

It was luted. – Stuart Heritage


I can’t believe someone broke into my house and stole all my fruit.

I am peachless. – Eden Wells


Two snakes were chatting when one said to the other, ‘Are we poisonous?’ The snake replied ‘Why?’ ‘Because I bit my lip.’  – Bear Grylls


What are made of brass and sound like Tom Jones?

Trombones. – Brian Bilston


Jokes about white sugar are rare. But jokes about brown sugar – Demerara. – Olaf Falafel


Once upon a time there was an inflatable boy, who went to an inflatable school. The teachers were inflatable, the students were inflatable, even the buildings were inflatable. One day the boy got in trouble for bringing a pin to school. The Headmaster said, ‘You’ve let me down, you’ve let yourself down, you’ve let the whole school down.’ – Adam Hills


 

What’s green and angry?

The Hulk getting a parking ticket. – Conn Iggulden


Why isn’t Pride and Prejudice popular in France?

It gets L’Austen Translation – Greg Jenner


 

I told the barman in my pub that the bowl of nuts just told me I look fantastic but the jukebox told me I looked terrible.

He said, ‘sorry mate, the nuts are complimentary and the jukebox is out of order.’- Kevin Day


What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. – Richard Herring


What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur?

Doyouthinkhesawus. – Howard Linskey


 

What do you call a bloke with a car on his head?

Jack. – Graeme Hall


Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the loo?

Because the pee is silent – Imran Mahmood


I can tell you the only gag my father has ever freely offered in his entire life: [while reversing the car] ‘Ah, this takes me back.’ – Seamas O’Reilly