Fred Durst has offered the services of himself and his band Limp Bizkit to save Twitter.
In Twitter’s darkest hour, a hero emerges. Fred Durst has offered to help the embattled billionaire Elon Musk rescue his nosediving social media platform where everything is fucked and everybody sucks.
It’s been less than two months since Musk purchased the already ailing company for an astounding $44 billion and in that time we’ve already seen an exodus of employees, a gutting of the platform’s moderation team in the name of “free speech”, an exodus of advertisers who were understandably scared off by said “free speech”, journalists Musk didn’t like being banned for innocuous reasons in clear violation of “free speech” then promptly unbanned once Musk’s hypocrisy was called out, several other backflips on “free speech” as Musk learned the hard way that an “absolutist” approach doesn’t work in the real world, the incredible Twitter Blue disaster that allowed anyone to become a “verified” account, a backflip on Twitter Blue allowing anyone to become a “verified” account, and so, so much more.
It’s all culminated in Elon Musk putting his future as the company’s CEO up to a public vote, one which he quickly lost.
Should I step down as head of Twitter? I will abide by the results of this poll.
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 18, 2022
Suffice it to say things aren’t looking good for Twitter, which is where our hero of the story steps in. Yesterday morning Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit fame Tweeted something no one expected.
@elonmusk good morning, sir. Myself and @limpbizkit are available for any help you may want or need at Twitter. Happy Holidays
— Fred Durst (@freddurst) December 20, 2022
Durst, the selfless nu-metal maestro offered his services in saving the platform and keeping it rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, rollin’.
How would Durst save the platform? How could he help? What could he possibly do? I don’t even think Fred Durst himself knows the answer to that, but we’d be fools not to let him try.
Thank you Fred Durst, you’re not the hero we need in this story, but you’re probably the hero we deserve.