Forget stupid sexy Flanders. Here are 5 Simpsons characters to inspire your next band

Since Rip It Up, an Adelaide-based (!) music street press mag-cum-website, broke the story of the Ned Flanders-themed hardcore band Okilly Dokilly, it’s almost as if a creative packet of ruffled chips have been inadvertently opened in the space shuttle of ideas and put the ant farm of boredom and stagnation at risk.

Extended metaphors, otherwise, have remained relatively stable. So after some creative calculations (carrying the 1 wasn’t forgotten) here are five Simpsons-themed bands that could definitely work out.

bands inspired by The Simpsons Moleman

A Ned Flanders metal band? We’re barely scratching the surface. Let’s dive into the depths of Springfield to find 5 bands inspired by The Simpsons.

Mr Smithers and Mr Burns

There’s something out there called the Big Mac index, which uses the centrepiece product of the most ubiquitous business ever to compare the purchasing power in different economies. Surely, the same sort of idea could be used to measure maturity or intelligence on a person-to-person basis, based upon when an individual realised Smithers was gay for Mr Burns.

It’s never been explicitly addressed whether Mr Burns has anything more than platonic feelings for his loyal and doting servant, or whether he himself is aware of them. Nevertheless, the megalomaniacal ambitions of a man too anemic to even begin carrying them out is tessellated perfectly by Smithers’ unwavering devotion to his employment and employer.

The White Stripes stands out as a musical duo with a stronger half as well as a relationship to it, but Mr Burns and Smithers have a softer side to them. Therefore, it is easy to see these two as an R&B, soulish, funkish twosome from an age probably fairly more accessible to Springfield’s century-old megavillian.

Possible songs: Yes, Jade Monkey, Hop In.

The Sea Captain

The Sea Captain is a bit of a mystery. He claims he runs an academy for lobsters, his idea of a casino is gathering “stout men” to “sail around the Horn and return with the finest spices and silk” and he tells Lisa he has two glass eyes.

Him being a mystery makes sense, y’know, because he is an auxiliary character after all, popping up only every now and then. However, the man does have some weird obsession with the sea (even though he admits he’s both not a sea captain and that he “hates the sea and everything in it”).

However, he did once upon a time release an album, ninety tracks long, of Sea Chanteys (including renditions of Row row row your boat and In the Navy), so really it’s a no brainer: a Sea Captain-inspired folk assembly.

Possible songs: Handsome Pete, ‘(Gameboy) At the Bottom of the Ocean, Have You Ever Seen the Sun set at 3pm?.’

Lionel Hutz

There’s a lot of noise being made out about employed people not feeling all that. It’s called underemployment, and it’s a chronic phenomenon more worthy of attention than whatever an ill-advised old fart says on twitter.

Credit should go where it’s really not due to the writers of The Simpsons for creating a character that wears so much of the workforce’s fears in Lionel Hutz. Although he’s well-known as a sleazy, opportunistic lawyer, Hutz also runs a shoe repair business (from his law firm office), a real estate agency and also at one time offers to be a babysitter for the Simpsons.

When Phil Hartman, the voice of Hutz and Troy McClure, died in 1999, his characters were retired. Since then Hutz hasn’t been seen but Gil has more or less filled that character niche. Therefore, for a man (or men) who spends his day hurriedly finding not much work, it only makes sense that a Lionel Hutz-(or Lionel Hutz/Gil pairing) themed DJ act could work, unkempt suit and all.

Possible songs: I Haven’t Slept in Days, Miguel SanchezThe Truth.

Hans Moleman

There’s nothing quite like the misfortune of Hans Moleman to clear up a moody day. From the time where he gets dropped off at the wrong house, or the time his shirt or the house he’s transporting catches on fire, or the time when Mr. Burns mistakes him for a delightful TV leprechaun, there’s a treasure trove of schadenfreude from everyone’s favourite 31-year-old.

Redemption is possibly the most powerful character arc, and as much as he finds himself at the end of some very unfortunate, sometimes painful but always humorous scenarios, Hans Moleman manages to bounce back. Or, in one case, managing to win an Academy Award after a remade short film of him getting hit in the Niagaras by a football.

You may not know it, but Christopher Lee (aka Saruman) released two heavy metal albums. In that spirit, a Hans Moleman-themed old school heavy metal band could be a definite hit. He is, after all, a fan of Metallica.

Possible songs: Drilling for Brains, Encased in an Anti-Escape OrbThe Agonising Pain in Which I Live Every Day.

Moe Szyslak

There’s few characters in The Simpsons that are as selfish as Homer, but Moe Szyslak the bartender is one of them. In many instances, most notably when he steals the Flaming Homer and makes it the Flaming Moe, taking advantage of his best friend for his own greed.

Homer, the doting friend who’s drinking habits possibly also make him dependent, always manages to forgive Moe. And the audience does too, as sympathy washes over after viewing Moe’s numerous suicide attempts and otherwise unfortunate life.

He may be ugly, brash, opportunistic as well as occasionally very selfish, but deep down Moe’s alright. However, Moe doesn’t feel that way so that’s why his character could be a perfect fit for a gimmicky shoegaze/doom/James Blunt/John Grant sorta band, something that’s slow and sad.

Possible songs: The Stinger, I Don’t Deserve This, But I Don’t Want To (Pay My Bills).

Check out our list of all time Simpsons songs too!

Words By Nick Hartman.