News

Queen’s Brian May destroyed his glutes from gardening too hard, now in hospital

They said that gardening was supposed to be a relaxing activity, meditation at its finest. Not for Queen guitarist Brian May, whose hectic battle with the weeds led to the complete obliteration of his gluteus maximus muscle. Who knew that pruning could be considered a weapon of ass destruction?

May happily let his Instagram followers know that he, in fact, did not have COVID-19, and instead was hospitalised by a quarantine-induced ailment.

Brian May
Photo: JOEL CARRETT/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock

This is what happens when rockstars stay at home for too long. Queen’s Brian May announced that a light spot of Sunday gardening destroyed his ass.

The Queen guitarist has revealed that after his “over-enthusiastic gardening”, he can no longer “walk or sleep.” “Reality check ! For me. No – the Virus didn’t get me yet – thank God. Hope you’re all keeping extra-safe out there,” his caption read. “I managed to rip my gluteus maximus to shreds in a moment of over-enthusiastic gardening.”

This has left us all wondering, what the hell happened? Were the roses being particularly unwieldy? Was there an altercation with a rouge bee? Was his ass run over by a lawn mower?

“So suddenly I find myself in a hospital getting scanned to find out exactly how much I’ve actually damaged myself. Turns out I did a thorough job – this is a couple of days ago – and I won’t be able to walk for a while … or sleep, without a lot of assistance, because the pain is relentless,” he told fans.

After shutting down rumours of a Bohemian Rhapsody sequel earlier in the week, May rapped up this insane news by announcing a social media hiatus until he has fully recovered. “Please don’t send me sympathy – I just need some healing silence for a while.” You heard the man, no questions about his shredded ass.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Reality check ! For me. No – the Virus didn’t get me yet – thank God. Hope you’re all keeping extra-safe out there. A decision to relax controls doesn’t suddenly make the danger go away. But me ?? Yes, I’ve been quiet. Reason ? As well as getting over-stretched and harassed by too many demands … I managed to rip my Gluteus Maximus to shreds in a moment of over-enthusiastic gardening. So suddenly I find myself in a hospital getting scanned to find out exactly how much I’ve actually damaged myself. Turns out I did a thorough job – this is a couple of days ago – and I won’t be able to walk for a while … or sleep, without a lot of assistance, because the pain is relentless. So, folks … I need to go dark for a while, getting some complete rest, at home. Please, please don’t send me sympathy – I just need some healing silence for a while. I’ll be back – but I need the complete break. OK ? Thanks. Take care out there. Bri

A post shared by Brian Harold May (@brianmayforreal) on