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Someone has literally stolen the world’s largest rabbit

Someone has stolen the world’s biggest rabbit, a professional pet detective is now on the case, and it is Wednesday, my dudes.

Darius is a Continental Giant rabbit who lives in the UK, and holds the ‘Guinness World Record’ as the world’s longest rabbit alive in 2010, measuring a stonking 129 centimetres (4 ft) in length.

Stolen from his owners garden on Saturday night in Stoulton, Worcestershire, in central England, West Mercia Police are now appealing for information on the whereabouts of this thiccc brown-and-white bunny.

Large Rabbit Stolen
Image: West Mercia Police

On Tuesday, experts admitted to being worried (and amused) by the disappearance of Darius, who they believe has been stolen from his oversized enclosure last weekend. Now, a professional pet detective (yes, that actually exists), believes Darius has been stolen because he’s valuable – and the thieves may be trying to leave the country.

Robert Kenny, the pet detective on the case, says it’s paramount that borders be closed so that Darius remains in the UK.

“The only way that this can be sold is if it goes out of the UK – it’s still hot, it’s still high profile,” he said.

“So it’s of paramount importance that borders are closed [to stop] the opportunity for this animal to be moved.

“If the animal remains in the UK, I have no doubt whatsoever that it has to be recovered. The owner needs to contact ferry ports and make sure that this rabbit does not go outside of the UK.”

Darius’ owner, Annette Edwards is now pleading for his safe return and has even offered a £2,000 (3592.60 AUD) reward for his safe return.

“Darius is too old to breed now. So please bring him back,” she said.

Darius won the Guinness World Record for the longest living rabbit after beating the previous record-holder, Alice – his own goddamn mother. Edwards previously said she kept Darius in a kennel and treated him more like a pet dog than a rabbit.

The chairman of the ‘National Continental Giant Rabbit Club’ and a member of the British Rabbit Council’s management committee, Roland White, has said that the case is fucking bizarre, indeed. Oh, and not just because someone stole a big-boi rabbit, but also because Darius should probably be dead by now.

“I find it strange that the same rabbit is still alive,” he said.

“Most only live to about four or five years old. But it’s unfortunate she’s had it stolen. And I suspect there could be a ransom demand for it.”

Kenny has helped reunite hundreds of pets with their owners through his ‘Happy Tails Detective agency,’ and notes that whoever stole Darius might be close to the home.

“It’s a very rural area so somebody has checked out this situation and the property well before this has happened. It’s pretty clear that somebody would have had to look at the routine probably over two or three weeks prior to this happening,” he said.

“It can’t be bred and it can’t be sold – it’s almost as if it’s a collector’s item.”

While we don’t know Darius’ whereabouts yet, Happy can reveal that Darius is, indeed, chonky af.