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WHATEVER: a game where you steer the stuck Suez Canal boat to glory

WHATEVER is an adorable early access game where you do what all the world powers couldn’t: free the big boat that stole our hearts and, of course, blocked the Suez Canal.

Is it just me or are indie games really taking it to the next level? First came Goat Simulator. Then someone decided harassing villagers as an angry goose was the natural progression of Grand Theft Auto style shenanigans. Now, bearing all the hallmarks of a modern masterpiece, comes WHATEVER – a game where you drift a big boat through narrow passages.

WHATEVER is inspired by ‘true events’. Specifically, the events that occurred between March 23-29 2021, when a giant shipping vessel got stuck and brought the world to a standstill… mostly because everyone was so busy laughing.

whatever game big boat
Image: WHATEVER / Napas Torteeka

Despite this relation to reality, WHATEVER appears content to venture forth into its own foreign waters. By no means a slave to the facts, the game’s early trailer shows players frantically trying to avoid collisions with giant Godzilla-looking monsters and any number of other potentially dangerous obstacles.

Although avoidance is only part of package. Players are also tasked with collecting huge golden coins along their voyage. It’s very video gamey, but could have actually been a helpful training exercise for the real-life operators of the Ever Given.

suez canal game
Image: WHATEVER / Napas Torteeka

Nothing keeps one motivated and on track like a seemingly never-ending line of gold coins – just ask Super Mario (who has done pretty well to not get stuck in those green pipes for all these years, despite his ‘robust’ figure).

WHATEVER is currently available for free as an early access title on Steam, as the developer is hoping to use regular player feedback to make the game exactly how people want it. Much like the real-life Suez Canal debacle, how long this arrangement will stand remains unclear.

Therefore, if you are curious to see if you have what it takes to free the big boat then now is probably the best time to get started.