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The highlights and lowlights of ScoMo’s cringeworthy press conference, as told in memes

Last night, Prime Minister Scott Morrison once again put his foot in it, finally addressing the issues raised about Parliament’s workplace culture.

From assuring the country that he is listening to women to making up a sexual harassment investigation on live TV, a lot happened in Scott Morrison’s thirty-three minute presser.

Here’s a wrap up of all the highlights (and the lowlights) pulled directly from the press conference transcript.

PM Scott Morrison

#1. Jenny makes a triumphant return Scott Morrison

The PM reminded firstly us that he is an ally to women as he has many in his family. “Criticise me if you like for speaking about my daughters, but they are the centre of my life. My wife is the centre of my life. My mother, my widowed mother, is the centre of my life,” he said, fighting back tears. You have to feel a little bit sorry for Jenny at this point.

#2. The empathy counselling has finally kicked in

Mr Morrison went on to explain that he is well aware of the plight of women. “I have heard that women are overlooked, talked over by men, whether it is in boardrooms, in meeting rooms, in staff rooms, in media conferences, in cabinets, or anywhere else.” Remind you of anything?

#3. Scotty the feminist Scott Morrison

During question time, when asked by a reporter why it took the PM a month to hold this press conference and whether this speech should have been said at the March 4 Women rally last week, Mr Morrison replied: “No, I believe that I provided the opportunity to meet with those who’d come on that day. It is not my habit, as you know, to go out to rallies and things like that, that come to Parliament House.” Actual footage of everyone looking for Scott Morrison and Senator Marise Payne (Minister for Women) at the rally:

via GIPHY

I have met with numerous groups. On that very day, I was meeting with groups from the entertainment sector who are happy to meet with me and talk about their issues.” Hopefully for the PM, that meeting went better than this one.

#4. ScoMo’s out for blood Scott Morrison

Then, things went from bad to worse. The PM quickly switched from teary-eyed to battle mode, biting back at a journalist with an unsubstantiated claim of harassment in the News Corp workplace. How good’s using sexual assault as a political weapon?

“Right now, you’d be aware that in your own organisation that there is a person who has had a complaint made against them for harassment of a woman in a women’s toilet. And that matter is being pursued by your own HR department… So let’s not, all of us who sit in glass houses here, start getting into that,” he said, almost smirking at the reporter.

Later in the evening, Scott Morrison made an apology to News Corp for the false statement. “In the course of today’s media conference when responding to further questions I deeply regret my insensitive response to a question from a News Ltd journalist by making an anonymous reference to an incident at News Ltd that has been rejected by the company,” he said. “I accept their account. I was wrong to raise it, the emotion of the moment is no excuse.”

#5. Accountability? We don’t know her… Scott Morrison

Another highlight was Mr Morrison’s response to the now-infamous incident where an unnamed Liberal staffer wanked over a female colleague’s desk: “As far as I’m aware, the incident that was reported last night occurred long before I was Prime Minister of this place…So that is not something that I could be directly held accountable, even when I wasn’t in the role. What I am held accountable [for] is what I do nowadays what I am outlining to you today.”

#6. Get the MAFS experts in, ’cause someone’s arguing over semantics again

The question time ended with a frustrating back and forth with a reporter about the pausing of Brittany Higgins’ inquiry.

Reporter: “Do you concede that you misled parliament by omission when you said you hadn’t received an update when in fact you had more than receive an update, you had received an email through the PMO, he had spoken to you personally about the fact that he was putting his inquiry on ice,”

Mr Morrison: “I said that I hadn’t been updated on when I would receive the report, and I hadn’t been updated on when I would receive the report, and I said subsequently that.”

Reporter: “You had been.”

Mr Morrison: “No, I hadn’t. There was no finishing date provided to me by the secretary, because he couldn’t provide me with one.”

#7. A king

Commenting on the press conference in a segment of Laura Tingle’s takedown of the PM, Liberal MP Russell Broadbent had this to say.

“Normal? Normal?” he said.

via GIPHY