A Christian activist wants to sue the Super Bowl because J. Lo and Shakira were too hot

Shakira and J-Lo might prevent Dave Daubenmire, and indeed all good Christian boys with hormones, “from getting into the kingdom of Heaven.” 

A Christian activist has outlined his plans to sue the NFL following Shakira and J-Lo’s Super Bowl performance.

Described as “too sexy,” the half-time performance by these two leading female artists was too much to handle for renowned Christian campaigner Dave Daubenmire.

shakira superbowl
Photo: Jeff Kravitz / Getty

Dave Daubenmire is a known right-wing American Christian activist; a self-created podcast commentator and full-time homophobe who considers the performance to be worthy of suing the NFL for “$867 trillion.” He has shared his anxiety around how the half-time performance could cause issues for his own son, alleging that the show was pornographic and inappropriate for younger male viewers:

“Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old son – whose hormones are just starting to operate – was there any warning that what he was going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?”

Daubenmire is disgusted that his traumatised son could be affected by these women who dared expose skin on national television.

Applauded for the powerful, female-led half time performance, both Shakira and Jennifer Lopez have also generated talk about possible political undertones in the explosive show. However Daubenmire is more concerned that his ability to access the “kingdom of Heaven” may be impacted by the “crotch shots”, which undermined the values he upholds in his own home.

All of which he has made known in his most recent podcast and blog post. It’s out there if you want it.