Warm toilet seats and lactose intolerance: Bullshirt and Crushed Tinniez have a chat

Crushed Tinniez and Bullshirt are two bands cut from the same cloth. They’re both firmly independent and fully DIY, and for their trouble they’ve torn apart a number of scraggly looking stages together. And they aren’t slowing down anything soon.

To celebrate Crushed Tinniez jangly new track Checkin’ Out and Bullshirt’s debut single Wot Cunt? (premiering over at Trouble Juice), we set both bands up for a chat at the Marley in Newtown.

Matt and Jack from Crushed Tinniez were there, as were Brandon and Sav from Bullshirt. Here’s what went down.

crushed tinniez bullshirt

With their newest tracks out to the world and some shared shows locked in, Crushed Tinniez and Bullshirt sat down to chat the big stuff.

Bullshirt interviews Crushed Tinniez

BRANDON: What are your thoughts on pickles and onions? Yes or no?

MATT: On a burger?

BRANDON: Yeah on a burger.

MATT: Fucking oath!

JACK: Nah I don’t fuck with it aye.

MATT: Well Jack’s lactose intolerant… wait… what are you?

JACK: Yeah, I’m lactose intolerant.

SAV: Where’s the milk in pickles?

JACK: Well I don’t eat burgers. Nah I like onions – I’m an onion boy.

SAV: What are your thoughts on warm coins?

MATT: What’s worse, warm coins or a warm toilet seat?

SAV: Nah warm toilet seat’s the best.

JACK: No no no, it’s too intimate.

SAV: But what are your thoughts on warm, moist coins?

KANE: Yeah I don’t fuck with warm coins.

SAV: How do you feel about lads?

MATT: Like eshays?

SAV: Yeah.

KANE: Yeah I like them.

BRANDON: What? Why? Give us three reasons why you like lads…

KANE: Well, they’re almost like punk rockers – they don’t care. They do what they want, and they’re dirty cunts.

BRANDON: They are valid points. Your first single is called Don’t Care… do you really not care?

JACK: Nah I don’t care.

MATT: Our single is about us not caring… but really we do care cos we’re all just a bunch of sad boys. We always try and write fun songs with fun lyrics, but they never turn out fun, they always turn out emo for some reason. Probably because we’re all just broken hearted little sad boys.

SAV: That deserves an ovation.

JACK: That was honest.

BRANDON: To Jack, why did you cut your hair?

JACK: Because it got too long, and it was too much. One night I was in the city with my brother, and I was like “I hope I’m not the asshole in the bun,” and he was like “you are the asshole in the bun.”

BRANDON: What are your favourite toppings on a burger?

JACK: Ok, to be honest, my burger topping is just meat, bacon, and tomato sauce.

SAV: What the fuck?

MATT: He’s lactose intolerant.

KANE: Yuck.

SAV: It’s a BBT. Beef, bacon, and tomato sauce. Not even tomato.

BRANDON: Tomatoes or tomato sauce?

JACK: Tomato sauce.

BRANDON: Do you like tomatoes?

JACK: Nah. Oh sometimes when it’s cooked.

MATT: Yeah I like straight up tomato.

Crushed Tinniez interviews Bullshirt

JACK: Who’d win in a fight, The Darrans or Dissclaimer?

SAV: The Darrans.

BRANDON: Definitely The Darrans.

SAV: No one can match Billy…

BRANDON: Yeah, stardust will fuck up anyone.

MATT: What’s your favourite beach on the Northern Beaches?

SAV: Long Reef.

BRANDON: Dee Why pools.

JACK: When you go to the Timeo, what do you get for dinner?

BRANDON: It varies.

SAV: It doesn’t vary with you. You always get a schnitty or a parmy.

BRANDON: I get the steak sometimes.

SAV: You never get the steak.

BRANDON: It depends on my financial situation at the time.

JACK: Have you guys ever written a song about each other that’s just like a mad ‘can’t stand you right now’?

SAV: Yeah, Fuck Your Valentines about how days before Valentine’s I said to Brandon “I don’t care if you get me anything,” but then all my older sisters got really cool shit from their boyfriends… and my younger sister got all this really cool shit from some guy she’d met like once. And then Brandon was like “fuck”

BRANDON: I fell into the Valentine’s Day trap. That’s why it’c called Fuck Your Valentines. I thought ‘well if she doesn’t want anything, then I’m not going to get her anything’.

MATT: Yeah I’ve done that before. I’ve fallen into that trap.

JACK: If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

SAV: It’d be pizza because you can choose different toppings.

JACK: Black Flag. Who’s your favourite vocalist?

BRANDON: Ohhhh. Keith Morris is the first so I’d have to say him. But sound wise, I’d have to say Ron Reyes – he was the rawest. Henry from what he’s done is sick too… but I’d have to say Kieth Morris.


Crushed Tinniez live

August 30 – The Hideaway Bar, Enmore – w/ Ride For Rain, Bullshirt, Sun Creeps, Blacklight Satellite
August 31 – Rad Bar, Wollongong – w/ Ride For Rain, The Tin Knees, Sun Creeps, Starting Monday
September 7 – The Time & Tide Hotel, Dee Why – w/ Bullshirt, The Darrans, Viral Eyes

Bullshirt live

August 30 – The Hideaway Bar, Enmore – w/ Ride For Rain, Bullshirt, Sun Creeps, Blacklight Satellite
August 31 – Otto’s House Party – The World Bar, Kings Cross w/ Frtitz, Full Flower Moon Band
September 6 – Freda’s, Chippendale w/ Space Boys, The Darrens
September 7 – The Time & Tide Hotel, Dee Why – w/ Bullshirt, The Darrans, Viral Eyes
October 27 – Rad Bar, Wollongong w/ Walken, SOOK
December 7 – The Townie, Newtown w/ Bad Absalom, The Darrans