It brings us no pleasure to tell you this, but it appears that cats might have higher brainpower than maximum-security prison guards. That’s right, Sri Lanka’s infamous heroin mule cat has managed to escape from the high-security Welikada Prison.
Local reporters from Aruna, Sri Lanka, must have had quite the field day with this one. It’s not every day a tabby gets put in a prison, let alone escaping one. This cat has all nine lives intact and possibly an incredibly high IQ. Well, at least maybe higher than Doja Cat, who said catching coronavirus was for pussies, then caught said coronavirus. Anyway, here’s what happened.
Sri Lanka’s high-security Welikada Prison recently locked up a cat smuggling heroin to prisoners. That cat has done the impossible: escaped.
Last week, the cat was detained for possession of two grams of heroin, two SIM cards, and a memory chip, which were hidden in a plastic bag around its collar. Gang shit. Assumably, this skag was meant to make its way to some inmates.
Funnily enough, the police had seen this sort of animal transportation manoeuvre before. They think that the drug traffickers responsible for training the cat might be in the same cartel that previously used an eagle for drug smuggling. This occurred in the suburb of Colombo, the hometown of old mob-boss Angoda Lokka.
Sri Lanka, where drug smuggling cats go to prison and drug smuggling humans go to parliment.
— Bloody Sri Lankan bugger (@sillymann1) August 3, 2020
But how did this cat escape the prison?! Well… when the prison guards went to feed it and opened its room, this unstoppable feline made a bolt for it. The cat then managed to find a way through the fence, reclaiming freedom like it was in The Shawshank Redemption. Authorities have admitted they aren’t currently searching for the cat. Mission success.
Drug smuggling cats > drug sniffing dogs
— Chira (🎃) (@ThugLyf4me) August 3, 2020