Clocked

IKEA and ASUS ROG have made a wooden fisting aid, as well as some gaming products

IKEA have partnered up with ASUS ROG to release a series of products aimed towards gamers. The ‘Gaming Furniture’ line is pretty standard, with one notable exception.

Chief weird in a new range of gaming products from IKEA is the LÅNESPELARE ‘accessory stand’ wooden hand. It looks like a rubber fisting toy. I’ve said it, and I’ll stand by it.

Cue the ‘We all need a hand every now and then, but this is ridiculous!’ jokes. I don’t know why IKEA or ROG thought that amongst an incredibly solid list of basics (desks, gaming chairs, cup holders), they felt the need to give us a wooden testament to humanity’s own perversions.

Ikea Pillow Blanket
LÅNESPELARE multifunctional cushion/blanket

Now, I need to make it very clear, this is not an anti-fisting piece. You do you, always. But much more a confused ‘why?’ as to the purpose behind it.

IKEA show the fist holding wires, so maybe it’s exclusively a place to leave your phone as it charges? It holds headphones, but there are other products more suited for that in the same list. I’m perplexed as to what they intend you to use it for.

The rest in this line of products is a mixture of bang on, or incredibly confusing. The functionality of 95% of the items on display is excellent. Drawers with headphone holders, superb. A power bar in the desk, genius. A three-in-one pillow, blanket, and concealed masturbatory aid… excuse me?

I’m sure there’s much in IKEA’s thoughts that I’m completely missing, but at what cost? I’ll have to remain over here, with my broken office chair and op shop desk. Unless IKEA wants to throw a freebie my way, in which case the LÅNESPELARE is the height of innovation, a true one-of-a-kind.

The range genuinely seems pretty great, have a gander here.

LÅNESPELARE mug with lid and straw and mug holder