Mysterious bags pressed into Private Function’s new vinyl, probably speed

Back in the day, Melbourne punks Private Function promised to buy “speed and booze” with the profits made from their merch. Looks like they followed it through. Yesterday, the band revealed a limited edition vinyl pressing of their upcoming album Whose Line Is It Anyway, containing bags of suspicious white powder.

Shrouded in mystery, the limited, 50-copy run of the record sold out in minutes earlier this month. Obviously, fans were eager for the reveal of the mystery vinyl, as well as the complimentary Bertie Beatle chocolate that comes with the record. Little did they know they’d be receiving records potentially filled with real speed.

private function
Photos: @privatefunctionmelbourne on Facebook

Private Function have revealed that “special bags of a special something” will be pressed into the sold-out “Mystery Bag” edition of their new album.

It’s impossible to know what’s in the bags without completely destroying the record, but the band’s Facebook reveal of the record alluded to some less-than-legal contents. “These ones sold out in about five minutes and we couldn’t believe the SPEED at which they sold. If you were one of the lucky ones, keep in mind these copies are to be bought/shipped/possessed at your own risk,” the post reads.

Here it is folks: the revealed Mystery Bag vinyl version of our new album Whose Line Is It Anyway. Remember those shirts…

Posted by Private Function on Wednesday, 8 July 2020


The album is also paired with artwork that brings back some massive schoolyard nostalgia: a folded five dollar note that appears to depict a whale performing a very R-rated act.

You can still pre-order the “Five Dollar Note” or “Speed Bumps” coloured vinyl editions of Whose Line Is It Anyway.

The album is set for release August 28th and will contain their latest single I Don’t Want To Make Out With You.