Season Of The Stink
Usually an artist will address the crowd after a show when there’s been a crowd surge, extreme heat or health concerns.
However, Noah Kahan had to tell fans how to use the bathroom over the weekend.
Delivering a PSA over X, Kahan addressed the elephant turd in the room at a Philadelphia show by stating “If you have to poop at a show please dear god just go to the bathroom lmao…you guys gotta understand there’s a venue worker out there with a 1000 yard stare after dealing with that.”
If you have to poop at a show please dear god just go to the bathroom lmao I’ve pooped my pants as much as the next 29 year old but you guys gotta understand there’s a venue worker out there with a 1000 yard stare after dealing with that
— Noah Kahan (@NoahKahan) June 27, 2026
Videos online show the aftermath, a trail of poop smears leading away from a vacant chair, the culprit is nowhere to be found.
Did someone expose their ‘great divide’ to let it loose, did a fan bring their child along for the ride or did the elusive ‘brown note frequency’ make an appearance within the audio mix?
According to a concertgoer on the ground, the story is a lot more bizarre.
“I guess they didn’t want to miss a couple songs…so they straight up s**t themselves and started picking actual pieces of poop out of their butt and put it on the floor.”
The culprit proceeded to ‘waffle stomp’ the mess, hoping that fans were too busy to notice as they filmed Kahan on their iPhones.
“[The culprit] acted like nothing happened but we flagged down security. One of the most unreal concert experiences I’ve ever witnessed.”
Kahan proceeded to joke about the bizarre actions of his fans by stating “I s*** myself onstage in Charlottesville but that’s because I am dedicated to my craft.”
The last time that the artist had to make a bizarre announcement to his fans was when they kept stealing a street sign referenced in the closer for his 2022 album, Stick Season.
Hopefully his current World Tour for The Great Divide doesn’t result in more digestive difficulties from the fans.
