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Suffer the 16 longest seconds of your life watching Bill Shorten try to scull a schooner

After a whopping 16 seconds spent nursing it down his gullet with all the speed of a glacier, Bill Shorten finally managed to put away a single schooner of lager yesterday, Junkee reports.

In a world where the consumption of an onion stops a nation and world record holding beer scullers take office, this is just not good enough.

Red faced, teary eyed and as still as the grave, Bill Shorten has revealed a major shortcoming in his non-existent ability to scull a beer.

While the unstoppable, outlandish and utterly motherfucking legendary Bob Hawke managed to knock back a pint in 11 seconds at the cricket, Shorten takes a painstaking 16 seconds to do the same with a schooner.

Plus, I never thought I’d say the words, but this made me miss Tony Abbott. At least he was good entertainment.