We are not making this up. Mark Zuckerberg has emotionlessly announced to Facebook employees that they will now be called “Metamates”.
In a Meta company meeting dedicated to “explaining the company’s updated values,” Mark Zuckerberg explained to Meta staff that they’re now known as “Metamates”.
As you could probably imagine, Zucc addressed his employees without the faintest hint of emotion, somehow making this hilarious employee title update even more amusing.
Zuckerberg reportedly told a silly little story about ships and shipmates blah, blah, blah… until he unveiled the final new value of Facebook, “Meta, metamates, me” – which basically means “put the company first and don’t worry about your own needs so much.”
Other updated values include, “Live in the Future,” “Move Fast,” and “Build Awesome Things.” No worries man, I’ll just go and grab my Lego.
Zuck also explained that his company will no longer “nice [itself] to death,” whatever the hell that means. We must be living in a different simulation because “nice” isn’t exactly the first word we’d associate with Meta.
Naturally, Twitter is having a laugh at the billionaire’s expense, with a thread of hilarious comments poking fun at the concept of “Metamates”.
wtf is a metamate
is that a sex thing
— Max Woolf (@minimaxir) February 15, 2022
“Metamates” sounds like a shitty NFT project.
— ben 😶🌫️ (@benbn) February 15, 2022
I will be pronouncing "metamates" like "Socrates". https://t.co/Sy1dsgNMCH
— Laurie Voss (@seldo) February 15, 2022
Metamates sounds like what they would call a team of dancers that go to promote this at senior golf tournaments and retirement investment fairs. https://t.co/3WMcx5ppHH pic.twitter.com/CpDnJBggLd
— Schooley (@Rschooley) February 15, 2022
We don’t understand what was wrong with “Facebook employees” but hey, maybe that’s why we’re not billionaires.
