The fire that came back.
After a five-year creative hiatus, Freddie Bourne is breaking his silence with the single ‘Crying Alone in a Chinese Buffet.’
The New Jersey-bred, now Indiana-based artist admits he became “detached-depressed,” watching the careers of those he interviewed like a “mirror of what could have been.”
The unlikely spark came during a road trip to Dallas when Tyler Childers’ new record reignited his fire.
The song’s title, pulled from a 2023 iPhone note, belies a decade-old wound: the raw memory of crying in a buffet following his mother’s passing, a place that was once her comfort.
But rather than wallow, Bourne and producer Hudsy have crafted something that “actually sounds fun,” a defiantly upbeat collision of grief and joy.
It’s the first glimpse of a new chapter, one Bourne calls “an amalgamation” of his past band-fronting energy and solo artistry, proving you can live with the good and the bad, “just don’t let the bad take a majority stake.”
HAPPY: What’d you get up to today?
FREDDIE BOURNE: Oh, man! Today is my first day in a few that I’m actually out and about.
Had to go head back to the day job — spent my normal weekend dealing with some pretty severe migraines throughout and I’ve been kind of running on fumes for some time.
So I’d like to think that was the universe pretty much telling me to hit this wall, if you will, and take time for myself and do some of the basic things — clean up after yourself, make the bed, but really kind of relax, and calm down before things get a little tipsy-turvy in the next couple weeks because I’m going to be looking at some staying busy on other projects outside of music before hitting sessions again more consistently.
HAPPY: Tell us a little about where you’re from, and what you love about it!
FREDDIE BOURNE: I come from a town called Jackson, New Jersey, which is in the middle of the state. I absolutely love where I come from.
It’s really great in terms of foundation, friendships and pseudo-families. Where I currently reside is out in Dale, Indiana — about an hour out of Louisville, around 2.5 hours out of Nashville and St. Louis and an easy two hours from Cincinnati.
It’s a really small town of about just over a 1,000 people, but it reminds me of the calm of the town I grew up in.
Even smaller.
The only traffic light we had in the entire town was removed around three years ago, yet the township installed a year before that.
I think the county believed more cars were going to come through since we do live right off an interstate. Quickly found out it wasn’t necessary. But that’s what I love about this place.
It’s far enough away to decompress from life a little bit while also a good way to test who your real friends are to see who is willing to make the trek out to us.
HAPPY: The story behind ‘Crying Alone in a Chinese Buffet’ is incredibly vivid and spans over a decade. What was it like to finally pull that 2023 iPhone note into the light and turn it into a finished song?
FREDDIE BOURNE: At the time, it was just about coming up with a creative line that I’d like to hear or see as an outsider that would prompt me to say: ‘Well, this is different’ followed by: ‘What the hell does that mean?’
I just thought it was an interesting visual. I knew I wanted to use it. I didn’t think it was necessarily title-worthy, but the words alone had enough idiosyncratic appeal to grab people’s attention.
In terms of what the concept, I had ideas about it but I was very concerned about putting my own personal story to and the physical situation I was in — which was, in fact, crying by myself in a Chinese buffet in my early 20s — and repeating the cycle I’d become accustomed to and acquainted with for the last nine years.
I did a lot of songs at that point in time I considered being in the camp of “sad boy soul” and really didn’t want to repeat the same thing again. I thought people were getting tired of it. Hell, I was getting tired of it.
I thought there wasn’t a better way to be creative with the lyric; and one thing led to another with Hudsy, recording it and writing it out and seeing it come to light — and feeling proud of it.
HAPPY: The song’s title suggests sadness, but you mentioned you and producer Hudsy ended up creating something that “actually sounds fun.” Can you talk about that creative decision to juxtapose a heavy subject with an upbeat sound?
FREDDIE BOURNE: Hudsy is someone who has a knack on finding ways on making almost any subject matter into a commercial bop regardless of the context and figuring out its mass appeal.
There’s nothing wrong with that, but I just, I’ve never felt like when I used to write in that manner or felt like I was writing in that manner and what those tropes looked like, I really was against it.
I didn’t want my stories to be misinterpreted. When writing this song specifically, I had a majority of lyrics written but Hudsy really dove into finding a really good place for hooks and ways to to create the vision of the narrative, but finding better words and sounds to best complement the entire body of the song.
The creative decision was more or less of working together and trusting the process — the latter being something I hadn’t done in a very long time.
And I am not afraid to admit that I have been self-centered; or rather. very much in my own way and not letting other people take part in the writing process.
When it came to writing. I very much have always invited collaboration.
But when it’s come to writing, it has been very difficult to sway me to embrace more hands, and I think it’s just part of a defense mechanism that if someone’s saying I should write something differently, to me, I would immediately get defensive and become insulted because I would have it in my head that the entire conversation was essentially saying I was a poor writer.
I tend to have a tough exterior on and going through that process of rewriting something and it potentially steering completely away from what I was initially trying to write about.
I just had to trust the process and trust Hudsy, and I knew that he was not going to be part of something that was going to hinder my career, but rather further it and also help me explore more avenues and different genres of music I’ve always enjoyed. That’s a big thing.
HAPPY: You took a five-year hiatus from working on new music. What was it like to be in that “detached-depressed” state, feeling more like a journalist than a musician?
FREDDIE BOURNE: Considering both of those terms are typically linked to negative feelings, I can attest I was not in a very positive mindset.
I really didn’t think I had anything left to offer in terms of music. I didn’t go out on my way to perform. I wasn’t performing out.
I wasn’t making any effort to do anything really creative, but especially with music because my day job as a journalist started becoming more of my identity little by little — especially when it came to talking to people out in the public and more people asking about my time as a reporter more than anything else.
Sure, I’ll admit it’s a bit egotistical to think about, and I’m not afraid to admit it stung;, but it also made me look inward to say: ‘Hey, man. You aren’t the bee’s knees. You aren’t that special.’
I needed a little bit of that kick to the pants to make me acknowledge that and get out of my own head to not put myself on this hypothetical and nonexistent pedestal. Overall, it stung — but it was very much necessary.
HAPPY: You’ve mentioned feeling jealous of the musicians you were interviewing. Was there a specific interview or moment that served as a turning point to reignite your own creative fire?
FREDDIE BOURNE: I can honestly say there was not. If anything, interviews would discourage me further.
I realized early on I didn’t have the emotional maturity when it came to speaking to public figures, particularly musicians.
I did the job, asked the questions and would remain professional, but I would find myself angry for days after the story would run because I would just pout and said to myself, ‘Why isn’t that me?’ ‘Am I not good enough?’ Hudsy likens it to talking to a mirror and “seeing” what could have been; and he’s on the mark with that.
But if there is any good out of interviewing folks and checking my jealousy at the door is questioning why I make music in the first place and is it for an honest purpose.
As I type this, I can only answer the former but I can’t safely say I have discovered the latter yet.
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HAPPY: Your career has taken you from fronting bands at The Stone Pony as a teen, to solo piano work, to experimental pop. How does ‘Crying Alone in a Chinese Buffet’ fit into that evolution, or does it feel like a new chapter entirely?
FREDDIE BOURNE: I see it as this — it’s almost as if we’re bringing those two worlds together as a frontman of these bands when I was younger and paving a new direction in my solo career.
It’s not necessarily a new chapter, but rather an amalgamation of how I started in music, what the scene was like being in indie groups in New Jersey and playing for crowds while showcasing my confidence and growth as a songwriter and a solo artist that has been playing on their own doing three-hour shows alone.
My hope is that the song and the following releases will provide a chance for listeners to envision me actually playing in a large venue and being a showman as opposed to being stuck behind the keys for the entire duration of a concert.
HAPPY: You’ve been collaborating with Hudsy on more material since this single. What can you tease about the other tracks you’re working on?
FREDDIE BOURNE: I can’t tease anything really at this time because we don’t even fully know what’s fully coming next.
That’s kind of how this partnership even started. When we met up “Chinese Buffet” wasn’t even in any real existence — just a couple words scribbled on napkins.
There was literally just the title and an idea. Most recently, we have been working on something definitely different sonically in comparison to the last release in hopes to see how it will work on this idea of an EP — which we aren’t rushing at this point in time, but I’m not rushing it.
There’s so many cool ideas that we have brainstormed and we honestly aim to try something at least once to make sure if it’s a ‘yay’ or ‘nay.’
I think part of this process is not only getting a chance to keep the creative juices flowing and expand our horizons, but also challenge one another and see what each of us can bring to the table.
His musical knowledge and producing is incredible. I’ve learned so much from him. It’s just been a great collaboration and team effort all around.
HAPPY: You’ve had experiences ranging from the Special Olympics to South by Southwest. Is there a moment in your winding career so far that you look back on and think, “That was the moment I knew I was on the right path?”
FREDDIE BOURNE: Just wanted to be clear that I was invited to play at Texas Indie Fest in Austin during South by Southwest, but it was canceled as that was the year the coronavirus pandemic essentially started.
I actually was a day away from playing a benefit show with some friends of mine who were also heading down to the festival to perform before we got the update that SXSW was canceled for the year.
We still played the benefit show, minus taking donations, and had a great time. As of right now, I still haven’t had the chance to make anything SXSW-related come together yet! But I’m holding onto hope!
FREDDIE BOURNE: I still think I ask myself that question. I know it’s a path. I know it’s a path that I enjoy. I know that it’s a path that I will continue to walk down.
But there’s so many other creative things that I have been wanting to venture out and try that I’m finally putting my hands up and going: ‘Alright, Universe. Let’s give this a shot.’
I’m finally executing ways to show my love of stand-up and improvisational comedy by making funny videos to promote this specific release, starting a podcast up with my wife — I mean, my hands are in so many different fires at this point in time that I never am focused on one.
And it’s very fulfilling. So, I know music is a path for me and one I enjoy; but I don’t know if it’s the path. But I’m not worried not knowing.
If there’s anything in my life I’ve learned in my 34 years, the things I’m worried about are going to be OK. I just need to keep living to see it through.
HAPPY: Lastly, what makes you happy? :-)
FREDDIE BOURNE: The unpredictable nature of how life can change in the blink of an eye where there’s that spark of wanting to try something new.
And then you go out and do it and it works out, and it just brings you so much fulfillment and it just fills you with so much joy where you go: ‘Oh, I want to keep doing this.’
There’s something about it you can’t put your finger on. Even if you don’t do well, but you pick yourself back up and have the earnestness to do it again — that’s what I enjoy. Besides that, happiness is foundation — family, my wife, our animals, the most broad and cliche things to say, but the absolute truth.
I still have a lot of life left to give and I want to make sure I don’t waste it.
And knowing that if I put my mind to something new that’s out there, I can make it happen as long as I allow myself to let myself explore what’s out there for me to try.
