New study shows Americans are sneaking cheeky beers during work hours

What’s new from our mates in the states? People are glugging beer during work, coronavirus is spreading almost as fast as the Harlem shake explosion of 2013, and a washed-up tiger-loving villain is plastered on TV screens far and wide.

Honestly, if Lucius Malfoy and Guy Fieri procreated and dipped their baby in radioactive sludge, that would be the baptism of Joe Exotic. Harsh, I know. I’m sure he’s a lovely guy. But that’s not what this article is about.

Americans drink whilst working from home, beer
Image: Bojack Horseman

A recent study reveals Americans have been indulging in a beer or two whilst working from home. There is no evidence supporting the use of beer bongs.

According to an original study by Alcohol.org, Americans are ‘fessing up to drinking during work hours. Hawaiians have taken out the top spot, with a whopping 67% admitting to getting sloshed during work hours, along with 38% of New Yorkers and 47% of Iowans.

One-fifth of participants in the study admitted to hoarding alcohol during self-isolation, and out of 3,000 surveyed, most preferred beer. Over a third said they were more likely to drink alone under the circumstances.

Cowboy State Daily (short pause to appreciate that magnificent name) reports that a quarter of Wyoming employees are sneaking a couple of spiked bevvies into their daily slog.

However, down south in Mississippi, only 13% are miss-is-sippin alcoholic libations during the week. At the lowest is Arkansaw, with only 8% admitting to “honking the hooch,” in Cowboy State Daily’s words. I mean, whatever floats your cocktail umbrella. I wonder if their bottle shops are in as much strife as ours…

Head to the Cowboy State Daily website for an interactive, state-by-state map.

In other news, marijuana has officially been legalised in the state of Virginia, just in time for everyone’s favourite 4/20.