Johnny most definitely ran away in the case of this naked fugitive who made refuge in a crocodile-infested swamp, claiming he got lost en route to New Year’s Eve Tones And I gig.
It’s one of my biggest fears when going to see live music, especially Tones and I: getting lost along the way and finding myself naked in a crocodile-infested swamp in Darwin.
Okay, maybe not exactly that, but that’s what this lone wanderer claims to have happened when two fishermen Cam Faust and Kevin Joiner rescued him, gave him some pants, and a cold beer.
Fugitive Luke Voskerensky spent four days out in the mangroves “surviving off snails” and under constant attack from mosquitos all because he apparently got lost on the way to a Tones and I New Year’s Eve show.
“He had a nest made up in the tree, and he was only laying a metre above the water and there were crocs in the water so he has done well to survive,” Faust told Perth Now at the time.
“Once we’d seen how bad he was and how many cuts he had all over him and he was dehydrated and pretty weak…we thought we’d better get him in the boat,” fellow fishermen Kevin Joiner added.
Australia is becoming more Australian by the day.
— The Scrutiny (@thescrutiny) January 5, 2021
However, this was all just cover-up for Voskerensky’s actual cause for misadventure. Turns out he was a fugitive who had pleaded guilty for assaulting his girlfriend and had proceeded to remove his electronic monitoring device.
You could argue that spending four days in the company of man-eating crocodiles and a never-ending bombardment of mosquitos is worse than some jails, but he has most certainly not done his time.
“Four days in the mangroves being chewed on by sandflies would have been particularly uncomfortable,” Voskerensky’s judge said, however labelling his actions as “self-inflicted extra curial punishment through stupidity.”
How much time is that equivalent to a jail time sentence? He’s died several deaths already in his mind! 🤣
— Margo&(Hamish the dog🌈)💙 (@Hamishmczzz) January 5, 2021
Anywho, after the stay Mr Voskerensky has had in one of Darwin’s least welcoming accommodations, he might find jail an absolute walk in the park.
OK, so he was on the run from the law. That explains the being in mangroves (I guess), but why the hell was he naked?
— Chuck Allen (@Callen_65) January 5, 2021
