Miss playing Sonic the Hedgehog? Why not just buy a Tesla

The first Sonic the Hedgehog game is speeding its way towards release on all Tesla cars, in a move as uninspired and tiresome as Elon Musk himself.

Sonic the Hedgehog is all about speed, and to a lesser extent saving the world from a largely inept inventor that is ruining the environment in his quest to turn all living things into robots. In other words, Tesla CEO Elon Musk likely sees a kindred soul in the game’s villain Dr Robotnik, and it’s no surprise he’s excited to make the game playable in his cars.

So while you’re waiting for your fancy state-of-the-art Tesla car to charge you can chill out and play Sonic the Hedgehog, a game that blew people’s minds in 1991. Although it’s still probably a better option than trying to boot up Cyberpunk 2077, which is likely to blow itself up along with your Tesla.

sonic the hedgehog
Image: Sonic the Hedgehog / Sega

What is more surprising is that Musk chose to first Tweet about this news by posting a meme suggesting that American politician/socialist/environmentalist Bernie Sanders is like Dr. Robotnik.

I don’t know what kind of mental gymnastics Musk had to perform to come to this ‘realisation’, but all it did was kickstart my desire to see what he himself would look like with the iconic Dr. Robotnik moustache. Probably a great deal less cute, and a whole lot more hungry for money.


I digress. The Verge report that while a Tesla representative did confirm that Sonic the Hedgehog will be playable in all vehicle models, there isn’t currently a timeframe for the release.

So until such a time comes we can turn out attention to more pressing issues, such as the fact Sonic the Hedgehog might actually be getting a new game that looks half-decent. Or that Elon Musk still doesn’t pay shit in taxes; although if I’m honest I’d rather he just disappears from this world, and its news cycle, in a giant SpaceX rocket never to be seen again.

Now that’s a vision of the future I could get behind!