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This ice-cream truck doesn’t sell any ice-cream, only plays heavy metal music

In what is the ultimate act of deception, this ice-cream truck doesn’t serve up anything other than heavy metal tunes and disappointment. Sporting an all-black base and covered in heavy metal logos disguised as ice-creams, the truck has been spotted doing the rounds to the despair of children all over Minneapolis.

Even going as far as blaring the traditional ice-cream truck jingle to get kids hyped up, the owner of the truck blames a bad childhood experience for the ploy.

Dubbed The Hell General”, this bad-boy pimped ice-cream truck doesn’t serve your usual favourite flavours.

Traumatised by a childhood experience involving a rainy day, a bloody run-in with some glass and an ice-cream driver who drove right on past, The Hell General’s owner has taken matters into his own hands. Owning the truck for more than ten years, he describes his absolute joy at shitting all over the happiness of children across the city:

“Rather than indulge brats with over-priced cream pops, I mean to deny those looking to buy a cold tasty treat by playing my happy chimes through the streets,” he says. “And when the children materialise in the streets? I will coast right past them with the sinister look of rejection.”

And once he has the attention of the children looking on, he blasts his very own heavy metal playlist – suitably containing Lamb of God, 1349, Slayer, Dimmu Borgir, Misery Index, and others.

We love a good news story, happy Thursday everyone!