With her latest single ‘Acceptance’, Pati AF has once again proven herself to be a masterful storyteller, weaving introspective lyrics with soaring melodies.
But there’s more to this Aotearoa musician than meets the eye. In a refreshingly candid interview with her little sister Hinauri (Nari) Apa-Fepulea’i, Pati AF gets dragged through the mud, sharing stories of her most embarrassing moments, her journey from “holy church girl” to “wild devil era”, and her unapologetic approach to music and life.
Dive into their conversation, where no topic is off-limits, and discover the unfiltered and unapologetic Pati AF.
P-AF: Okay. Ask me some appropriate questions please.
N: How come your band changes so much? Elaborate on that for me.
P-AF: Why the fuck would you ask me that Nari.
N: Who’s your favorite band member?
P-AF: Nari, be for fuckin real.
N: Have you ever been romantically interested in a band member?
P-AF: You know what-
N: You asked me to ask you questions! …Fine. What’s your most embarrassing moment on stage?
P-AF: For fucks sake… I’ve had a few. Ohh, this one time I was performing-
N: What about that time when you were drunk and you were dancing onstage at Anthology Lounge?
P-AF: I mean I’ve had a few of those moments, you’re gonna have to clarify.
N:The time when you were really drunk and then you tried to do that slut drop but it was a fail because you were so wasted.
P-AF: Oh my God or when I tried to go into the S.O.S (unreleased song) choreography, and I was so fuckin wasted so my vocals were so shit. That was actually low-key a pivotal moment, because after that I decided I really needed to take my health seriously. All the boys (band members) were so annoyed. They were so angry with me.
N: Yeah I remember that… hahahaha
P-AF: Okay ask me a real question now.
N: Not many people know this about you, but you used to be a really holy church girl, and then you entered into your wild devil era phase on instagram. What changed? What switched?
P-AF: The version of christianity that I grew up with felt very stifling – It killed my agency and I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life because of that.
All I knew was what my parents, my church and my community wanted me to be. So I went hundies off the other end with exploring and partying; trying to figure out what I liked and didn’t like.
I would do shit for the sake of the plot, because I was never allowed to do that growing up. I did a lot of crazy stupid shit in that era; I had to make certain decisions for myself, and not because someone told me not to.
N: What’s your most embarrassing moment in general?
P-AF:Not this again. Ohhh… that time when I sang “Suck My Clit” (unreleased song) in front of a child. That was up there. One of our friends had brought her daughter to a gig, and I mistakenly had said it was an all-ages gig – because I assume people know it means sixteen plus/ fifteen plus.
N: No…. That’s not what that means.
P-AF:Well yeah I found that out pretty quickly didn’t I. She brought her seven year old child to the show and I had to sing Suck My Clit in front of her.
In front of everyone, I said, “babe, can you please close your ears, cause this part of the show is not appropriate for you.”
I’ve had a few of those moments, where there’s been children around, and I’ve had to sing f-bombs.
N: I mean you could just replace the word.
P-AF: Don’t censor my artistry.
N:True. You right. Do you ever feel awkward when you’re performing a more raunchy show, and then your family comes to watch?
P-AF: I used to. But I feel like I’m known in our family now for being a savage-ruthless-crazy-party-girl. Now everybody expects that from me, and I feel way more pressure to be that, than to hide that away. Everyone expects me to be the life of the party.
N: That can be tiring. Like damn, you have off days too.
P-AF: Period. Not everyday little-shit-get-wasted-get-fucked-off-my-face. Ya know? Sometimes I just want a coffee-catch-up. Why are you always inviting me to the drink-up and not to brunch!
N: Aww you just wanted to have coffee!
P-AF: Right!!! Is that such a big ask!!
N: What were you doing, in the year 2011 at the-
P-AF: Oh God.
N: …See, this is why I think you’re lying when you tell me your most embarrassing performance moment.
P-AF: *Maniacal Samoan Hyena Laughter*
N: Because you need to tell Happy Mag what you were doing when you were aged 13 at the Newtown PIPC church camp? (It’s the sixth slide if you want to see her finest moment)
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P-AF: Fuck you. I was eating up a stage performance. Thank you very much. I did a beautifully choreographed wanna-be whacking moment.
N: What was the song again?
P-AF: *embarrassed laughter*
N: I think it was Maroon 5.
P-AF: I fucking hate you hahahaha.
N: And what was that thing you did when it was like halfway through the performance?
P-AF: I put my hand in the air and walked off stage. I gave a taster and then said no more “…cause you guys don’t deserve how much I’m about to eat this shit up.”
N: You truly didn’t eat a thing. That’s a performance I’ll never forget.
P-AF: That’s not embarrassing to me though. That just shows so much potential.
N: Interesting way to look at it.
P-AF: Not you telling the audience it was Maroon 5. Why are you lying!!
N: It WAS Maroon 5.
P-AF: You know what, it could’ve been Wagon Wheel and I would’ve ate that shit up.
N:Have you ever written a song about me!
P-AF: Yes I have actually! I wrote a song about you, Telia and Alysha – my sisters in crime, It’s called Angel Dust, and it’s about how you guys brought me out of a terrible, horrible relationship.
The main lyric is “In you I’ll keep my faith and trust, cause where you walk, there’s angel dust.” It’s a metaphor about how people look at God and keep their faith in God, in the christian world, to bring them out of tough times.
But for me, my faith has always been in my girls – in my friends and my sister, to bring me out of terrible times, and my faith in you guys has never faltered.
We might go through rough times, and periods of space, but I will always, always keep my faith in you. I think that’s actually my favorite song I’ve ever written.
N: Oh well that’s frickin cute. Hmm… What’s another embarrassing thing I can ask about…. Oh yeah. Who was your idol growing up?
P-AF: Um, Michael Jackson, duh. I think if you were born, and you were alive when Michael Jackson was alive, and you don’t think he is an iconic legend then you’re delusional.
N: What was your reaction when he died?
P-AF: I was literally in primary school, and I heard somebody shout out in the hallway, “Michael Jackson died! Michael Jackson’s dead!” The room was literally spinning.
N:It’s like a movie.
P-AF: I literally had to grab the wall. I was like, “No, not MJ! Not the King of Pop!”
N: Were you like, distraught?
P-AF: I went home and cried about it. And then he appeared in my dream.
N: Oh yeah? So he literally died, and then came straight to you.
P-AF: He came straight to me.
N: He said, “Pati. I need you to continue my spirit on for me”
P-AF:And I said, Got you Boss.
N: And that’s when the idea for “Suck On My Clit” came.
P-AF: *More maniacal Samoan hyena laughter* A hundred percent babe.
N: Wow, what a journey.
