One of the most treasured Australian political rumours to date suggests that Scott Morrison shat his pants at Engadine Maccas in 1997.
Ladies and gents, please prepare for a load of shit jokes, including that one. Today we’re taking a plunge into the origins of a fabled story involving our PM Scott Morrison, a Cronulla Sharks game, and one incredibly unforunate McDonald’s.
Hold tight, or at least tighter than he did.
Allow me to set the scene. September 20, 1997. ScoMo and his privileged clique sit ’round a table at Engadine Maccas. Cronulla Sharks vs. Brisbane Broncos. His beloved team hadn’t won a single premiership yet and this could finally be their chance. Then – they lose! In a fluster of outrage and disbelief, the future Prime Minister empties his loaded bowels in a tempestuous fashion. End scene.
This is the rumour than got thousands of Australians on the edge of their seats, making countless memes, and seeking the ultimate truth. It’s likely even more terrifying than a previously documented McDonald’s fiasco, where a Rick and Morty fan spent $20k for a bottle of Szechuan sauce. But how did it all start? Well, the origin can be found in a game-changing tweet from Sydney hip-hop artist Joyride posted back in 2018. Take a look.
Scott Morrison shat himself at Engadine McDonalds after the Sharks lost the GF in '97.
— 𝙅𝙊𝙔𝙍𝙄𝘿𝙀 (@donjoyride) August 24, 2018
The rapper even went on to add, “Pretty bad I heard. My mate was working there at the time”. Of course, Joyride didn’t know it back then, but he would eventually become responsible for one of the greatest Aussie sagas to date.
That being said, the tweet initially didn’t gain much traction. History became legend. Legend became myth. And until a disastrous interview with Waleed Aly on The Project, ScoMo’s bowel habits almost passed out of all knowledge. Until, when the chance came, Twitter took the allegation to new comedic heights. Someone even got a plaque made to commemorate the occasion.
I’d like to nominate whoever went to the trouble of having this plaque made and placing it at Engadine McDonald’s for Australian of the Year. #EngadineMaccas #auspol #ViolentShart pic.twitter.com/YKureFdaRl
— Stig Martyr (@StigMartyr) May 17, 2019
Scott Morrison shidded – and I cannot stress this enough – out his doo doo ass at – and please hear me when I say this – Engadine Maccas in 1997.
— Ben Jenkins (@bencjenkins) March 25, 2019
Somehow, the meme was carried into the political sphere. The day before the 2019 election, Greens Senator Mehreren Faruqi listed off a thread of Tweets that mocked the soon-to-be PM. At first glance, they all appeared as The Greens’ policies and interests, but closer inspection revealed that the first letter of each Tweet spelled out “Engadine Maccas”. Acerbically sneaky stuff. Feel free to follow the thread yourself and see.
Election day is tomorrow and I want to take a moment to talk about why Voting 1 @Greens in the Senate is so important…
— Mehreen Faruqi (@MehreenFaruqi) May 17, 2019
Rumours, allegations, and memes continued to soil the web remorselessly. Finally, Scott Morrison publicly addressed its level of truthfulness. His first comment on the sticky matter came at Canberra’s 2019 Midwinter Ball. Playing into the joke, the PM said it would “remain a mystery for the ages”. And then, when all hope seemed lost, KIIS FM performed one of the greatest acts of journalism of the 21st century.
April 2020: ScoMo jumped on the Will & Woody Show for a bit of banter. Right at the end of the interview, they popped the question, and after an immediate reactionary chuckle, this was ScoMo’s reaction:
“That is the biggest load of rubbish that thing. I must admit I’ve been constantly amused by how something like that goes viral. I sometimes joke with my staff, not that we can do it at the moment ‘do you want to pop into Engadine Maccas?’ just for a laugh. I’ve got no idea where it came from”.
Sounds exactly like what someone who shat an Engadine Maccas in 1997 would say. Whilst ScoMo’s denial of the incident doesn’t count for much (we all know politicians are capable of laborious lying), sadly, it seems we’ll never have absolute confirmation on the defecation.
Of course, if something sounds too good to be true, it normally is. However, deep down, I can totally picture this happening, even if it’s just wishful thinking. So, until someone invents a time machine, the incident will live on in the Google reviews of Engadine Maccas, and the painfully permanent memory of Twitter.
me going back in time and waiting in engadine maccas on september 13th 1997 pic.twitter.com/zKNcbQkYKa
— moleman (@mandlens) May 17, 2019